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found a bong in kids room

2

2972renfro

New Member
Have not posted in a while.

This morning while looking for something I found a small bong hidden in my kids closet. Has pretty good grades and never in trouble before. A typical teenager. Good driver. Comes home on time. Calls to tell us where they are at.

So i will be approaching upon arrival from home. I imagine a couple of scenarios.

1. Admittance
2. it belongs to someone else

So if it is 2 and says who it belongs to should I call that person immediately and get their side? If they lie and deny then it could harm their relationship.

What should be the punishment? I looked online and found many conflicting opinions and I may get the same here. I am confused. i have never had to deal with this before. Child is 17 and wants to go to college next year.
 
TheSnowman

TheSnowman

New Member
I only have little kids right now, but I think each kid has to be handled differently. With my daughter, just talk of a possible spanking is enough to get her straightened out...her brother on the other hand, almost laughs his way through them. Everyone is different. That being said, if it were my kid, I'd do it with as much love as I could possibly find to muster up under the circumstances, and allow them to talk as much as possible w/o feeling like they're being freaked out on, and not being allowed to tell their side of the story...in hopes that I get the truth on the first shot. Punishment would go from there...
 
GWSigns

GWSigns

New Member
I never found items in my sons room, but when he came home from college one summer, he looked like the walking dead - he had lost SO much weight and his actions frightened me.

I simply approached him casually and explained I understood experimenting with different life choices when leaving home, but whatever he was doing was damaging him physically. I asked him to take a good long look in the mirror, told him I loved him more than he would ever know, and asked him to talk to me about anything at anytime.

We always had a very close and open communication relationship up unto that point.

Not too long after, the sunken eyes were gone, he was home every night, and within a month or two he had put on weight and was back in his athletics.

My daughter told me years later that he was impressed that I did not berate him, touched that I empathized, and humbled by the love I had for him regardless.

Just a side note, my daughter is the one who told me these things because my son was killed in a car accident about three years after the conversation.
 
John Butto

John Butto

New Member
Throw the bong in the trash. If he ask you about it tell him to use rolling papers, they are easier to hide. If he does not ask about then keep quiet.
And on another note, this is a place of sign guys and girls. you will get a lot of opinions on here too.
My wife and I raised four children, youngest is 31 and all successful, and I do not mean just monetarily but good loveable people. We crossed bridges when we came to them, love and respect is the answer to your question.
 
Pat Whatley

Pat Whatley

New Member
20 years ago I would have gone ape-**** crazy, gone and snatched the kid out of school, and screamed until I was blue in the face. I never smoked it and went out of my way to belittle people who did.

Now, after getting past the paranoia, and learning the vast majority of my successful friends messed around with pot in high school and college I've changed my opinion. I think I'd just sit them down, talk to them about decisions, warn them about the repercussions of getting caught, let them know I didn't approve and hoped they wouldn't do it again, and then let it go as long as I didn't see anything negative from it.

If the kid is getting good grades, coming home on time, well behaved and acting responsible I think they deserve a little leniency. The instant their grades drop, they start dressing like a juggalo, or eat all the Doritos there will be hell to pay.
 
L

Locals Find!

New Member
Toss it, don't let them know you found it. Talk to them in generalities about the situation. Don't accuse or go off on them. Like you said if everything else seems to be in balance well a little dope aint going to hurt him to much.

If things start heading south then you got options. I don't know anyone who hasn't smoke a bit of dope at some time in there life. Much like Alcohol or anything else its all about moderation. If used in moderation everything will be fine. It's when people start to overindulge that things get out of hand.
 
zmatalucci

zmatalucci

New Member
HAHA... Memories;-)

Anyway, when my mom found stuff I wasn't supposed to be doing, she simply placed it on my bathroom counter with a note stating the repercussions and side effects of said "stuff". It was her way of letting me know she found it, and also making me think about my actions.

Did it work? No. Did it make me think? Yes. Did it kill me? No. Kids will be kids, and if you confront him aggressively it's only going to push him further away from you. No matter which way you react, he will ultimately make his own decision, so don't burn his trust by being a pri@k.

My two cents fwiw
 
Techman

Techman

New Member
he is hiding it. He is following an example. They test their behavior on parents first.
Place it out in plain view. Dinner table? maybe? No need to flip out.
Let him know how you feel about it.. and be the end of it.
 
Marlene

Marlene

New Member
had my mom gone thru my room years ago, she would have found some good stuff and I turned out OK. it really isn't a gateway to hell. keep on eye out to make sure kid doesn't do other stupid stuff as there is a ton of stuff out there that I'd really worry about. you could try talking about it without coming off like a narc or you could leave a card where the bong is with a note that says I love you, I'm your parent and the one person who will always be there for you
 
HulkSmash

HulkSmash

New Member
Adtechia said:
Toss it, don't let them know you found it. Talk to them in generalities about the situation. Don't accuse or go off on them. Like you said if everything else seems to be in balance well a little dope aint going to hurt him to much.

If things start heading south then you got options. I don't know anyone who hasn't smoke a bit of dope at some time in there life. Much like Alcohol or anything else its all about moderation. If used in moderation everything will be fine. It's when people start to overindulge that things get out of hand.
Click to expand...

Jason, this kid is almost 20... he's not stupid.

Bong goes missing, parents start hinting about drugs...

"HMM MAYBE THE TOOTH FAIRY TOOK IT"

and moderation has nothing to do with pot, unlike alcohol.

please stop.
 
S

Shadowglen

New Member
put it in the center of the kitchen table with a few flowers sticking out of it and wait for him to say something. Or you could go on the 6 0 clock news and blame it on the school. I hear that works. :cool:
 
mbarden

mbarden

New Member
GWSigns said:
I never found items in my sons room, but when he came home from college one summer, he looked like the walking dead - he had lost SO much weight and his actions frightened me.

I simply approached him casually and explained I understood experimenting with different life choices when leaving home, but whatever he was doing was damaging him physically. I asked him to take a good long look in the mirror, told him I loved him more than he would ever know, and asked him to talk to me about anything at anytime.

We always had a very close and open communication relationship up unto that point.

Not too long after, the sunken eyes were gone, he was home every night, and within a month or two he had put on weight and was back in his athletics.

My daughter told me years later that he was impressed that I did not berate him, touched that I empathized, and humbled by the love I had for him regardless.

Just a side note, my daughter is the one who told me these things because my son was killed in a car accident about three years after the conversation.
Click to expand...

I think this is the best way I have ever heard of dealing with this situation. Thank you for sharing! My wife and I cried over this. God bless you and your family!!!!!!!!!!

Mike B
Big River Sign Co.
 
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