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How does one survive raising a teenage daughter?

Circleville Signs

Circleville Signs

New Member
Seriously. How does one do this. In the last month I have been hit with more crap, general hurtfulness, and terrible decision making than I have ever seen before.

You love a kid, provide for them, are the one who picks up the pieces every time their worthless, bi-polar, POS mother craps on them and all you get in return is hatefulness, spite, and pettiness...

I have no idea who the kid is anymore. Anyone who's been here have tips?
 
Gino

Gino

Premium Subscriber
The only thing I can offer up is.... someday, the role reversal process will kick in and you can then take their place and act like a schmuck right back at 'em.
 
Fatboy

Fatboy

New Member
Shame man.Don't know what to say to you.Hope everything will get better soon.
Maybe just keep on loving her.I know it must be a tough situation..
 
SignManiac

SignManiac

New Member
Suffer like the rest of us have :) No seriously, very little can be done except to hope for the best. If you're lucky, she will reach 25 years of age and apologize for all the crap she put you through, eventually start acting like an adult, and one day give you some peace in your life when you can start to not worry about them all the time.

It's a crap shoot. 50-50 chance of going either two ways. They can destroy their own lives or they survive.

You may be able to force her in to counseling, or she could get busted and go to jail depending on what might be making her crazy, if you get my drift. I'm sure there are some other options but it's going to be a rough road.

I will say this. If I had know what a challenge parenting was going to be, I would never have chosen to have kids. Those first ten wonderful years were not worth the heart ache of the following ten years. But then again, I can be a selfish pr*ck :)
 
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WildWestDesigns

WildWestDesigns

Active Member
Circleville Signs said:
Seriously. How does one do this. In the last month I have been hit with more crap, general hurtfulness, and terrible decision making than I have ever seen before.

You love a kid, provide for them, are the one who picks up the pieces every time their worthless, bi-polar, POS mother craps on them and all you get in return is hatefulness, spite, and pettiness...

I have no idea who the kid is anymore. Anyone who's been here have tips?
Click to expand...


Unfortunately, there isn't a magic bullet with this. All I can say is continue to be the person that you are. Either they will come out of this or they won't. Nothing that you can really do at this age. Some girls get "hit" harder then others. My sister was bad, the ole ball and chain was not during these years.

There is only so much that you can do at this stage, but whatever you do in the end make sure that you can live with yourself.
 
Marlene

Marlene

New Member
just be a parent and not her friend is about all I can offer up. mine is 30 now and thinks I am a great mom and wants to be like me with her son. there is no bigger thrill than to hear that from your child! hang in there and be consistant. every kid is different and it sounds like here mom is not the one doing the parenting. it's hard when they lash out but it may be she is lashing out with you as she needs to vent and knows you will still be there when she does. just be someone she can count on no matter what. it may not seems like that is important to her from her actions, but it is. best of luck to you. if you can get her into someone she can talk to, that might help too.
 
Ponto

Ponto

New Member
Good on ya' for caring! I know, it's a rough ride as I'm facing similar circumstances,.. and its not a gender thing. I just try to offer support and be there when they need it..........best of luck!!!!!!

JP
 
Circleville Signs

Circleville Signs

New Member
Well, the good news is that it isn't anything criminal or drug related (at least not that I know of). Basically, her mother and I got divorced when she was around 5 months old. My current wife and I started dating when she was about 10 months old. We have been the parental unit of balance and continuity throughout her insane mother's escapades included 2 more marriages, and new one in the works, bouts where she has been kicked out of her mother's house (when she was 11, and because my ex was mad at her for not doing the dishes), etc. We have had shared parenting (1 week on, 1 week off) and live about 4 blocks from each other.

For the past two weeks she and her mom have been getting along, for the first time since she was an infant. Suddenly, that means that my wife and I are terrible parents who only want to destroy her relationship with her mother.

Oh - and her boyfriend. Because when we found out that at FOURTEEN she has decided to become sexually active, we shut that shi% down fast.
 
SignManiac

SignManiac

New Member
The sex thing is hard to shut down. If she's horny then she's gonna get it one way or another. I say, make damn sure she's on birth control and sit her azz down and make sure she understands all of the associated risk that go with it. I know I couldn't be stopped when I was that age, that's the only thing I thought of 24/7. Her hormones are raging at that age. Oh, and if she's staying in your house, be sure to have an outside lock on her bedroom window or be prepared to sit outside in the dark and wait for her to sneak out. Another one to watch out for is she's staying over so and so's house for the night and so and so is meant to be staying at your house that night. It's the old switcheroo trick.
 
sar bossier

sar bossier

New Member
SignManiac said:
Suffer like the rest of us have :) No seriously, very little can be done except to hope for the best. If you're lucky, she will reach 25 years of age and apologize for all the crap she put you through, eventually start acting like an adult, and one day give you some peace in your life when you can start to not worry about them all the time.

It's a crap shoot. 50-50 chance of going either two ways. They can destroy their own lives or they survive.

You may be able to force her in to counseling, or she could get busted and go to jail depending on what might be making her crazy, if you get my drift. I'm sure there are some other options but it's going to be a rough road.

I will say this. If I had know what a challenge parenting was going to be, I would never have chosen to have kids. Those first ten wonderful years were not worth the heart ache of the following ten years. But then again, I can be a selfish pr*ck :)
Click to expand...

This ... And for some of us, 25 only makes it worse ... they rip out your heart, shred it, then hand it back and walk away. SUCKS!~
 
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Circleville Signs

Circleville Signs

New Member
sar bossier said:
This ... And for some of us, 25 only makes it worse ... they rip out your heart, shred it, then hand it back and walk away. SUCKS!~
Click to expand...

This, for me, is the worst part about it. Last night was the worst. She had full knowledge of how bad she was hurting my wife and I - and she didn't care even one little bit. As a matter of fact, she told my wife, who as been more of a mother to her than her egg donor, "I know we've never had a "step" relationship - but just so you know, that's going to be changing".

I was just flabbergasted...
 
Techman

Techman

New Member
she is testing her limits. She is not sure how far they go. Some of her actions sound very much like impulsiveness.

set some rules and limits.
Stick to them like your life depended on it because it does.
Violations means she has more restrictions or she gets emancipated.
Emancipated is good for troubled youths. Get her on birth control.

Check into emancipation. After a while she will mature into a successful adult.
 
S

sdodson1

New Member
14? Oh no! I have an 11 year old son and a 1 year old daughter. I'm not looking forward to all that. May have to use Solidworks to design a chastity belt for the both of them! I am in the same situation with my ex, custody and all. Been that way since my son was 1. All I can say is my current wife was a God send. We take turns with the kids so nobody burns out HAHA! Best of luck, I will be watching this for pointers!
 
SignManiac

SignManiac

New Member
Techman said:
she is testing her limits. She is not sure how far they go. Some of her actions sound very much like impulsiveness.

set some rules and limits.
Stick to them like your life depended on it because it does.
Violations means she has more restrictions or she gets emancipated.
Emancipated is good for troubled youths. Get her on birth control.

Check into emancipation. After a while she will mature into a successful adult.
Click to expand...

The best advice so far!!!
 
Circleville Signs

Circleville Signs

New Member
Techman said:
she is testing her limits. She is not sure how far they go. Some of her actions sound very much like impulsiveness.

set some rules and limits.
Stick to them like your life depended on it because it does.
Violations means she has more restrictions or she gets emancipated.
Emancipated is good for troubled youths. Get her on birth control.

Check into emancipation. After a while she will mature into a successful adult.
Click to expand...

We have very firm rules and limits.
I stick to them - my ex doesn't.
She routinely loses privileges and gets harsher restrictions.
She is now on birth control.
 
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