No matter how your create a particular gray your RIP is going to print it in CMYK not K.
You can fiddle and diddle your profiles to get closer, certainly one of the of color nostra in these waters will be happy to expound at length on dealing with this sort of problem. At the end, there really isn't a universal method for printing a good gray. I tend to avoid it if at all possible. Failing that, you might try creating the tone you want in LAB space setting A and B to 0 and adjusting L. Since your RIP is going to translate everything into LAB space then into dithered CMYK you might save a transformation. Depending.