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9 Minutes and 17 Seconds...Telemarketer Challenge

Discussion in 'Entertainment, Humor and Spoofs' started by James Burke, Apr 20, 2020.

  1. James Burke

    James Burke Being a grandpa is more fun than working

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    Ok, so I was just finishing up on a telephone call when my call waiting beeped in and notified me of another call. Fully expecting a colleague on the other end of the line, I was a bit miffed to discover it was a telemarketer hawking a medical alert pendent. So...

    Being totally bored, and game for a little telephone humor I went on to say that I was interested in her medical alert system, and that I was under the impression that it came with a free colonoscopy.

    With every new pitch and every new angle she tried, I wove the urgent request for a colonoscopy into our conversation...holding back muffled laughter as her long pauses made me think I was on the phone with artificial intelligence.

    Well, she was just as real as the sari she was wearing, and I thought I could almost smell a faint whiff of Nag Champa drift through the receiver every once in a while.

    I was able to hold her on the line for a full 9 minutes and 17 seconds...which is a record for me so far. If I could attach the recorded .wav file, I would.

    So there's the telemarketer challenge...

    Do the something similar, describe your call and give us your "hang time". It surely beats watching Netflix.

    JB
     
    Tags:
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  2. letterman7

    letterman7 Very Active Member

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    scam1.jpg scam2.jpg scam3.jpg The ones on the phone usually don't last long for me. I prefer the email exchanges, or occasionally, the Facebook troll. I love those. I screen-shotted one conversation, and I'll share it here... hopefully it'll be large enough to read. scam1.jpg scam2.jpg scam3.jpg
     
  3. letterman7

    letterman7 Very Active Member

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    scam baiting.jpg And another when a friend of mine's page got hacked: scam baiting.jpg
     
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  4. Johnny Best

    Johnny Best Very Active Member

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    Guess that put you over the top. You know they have help for PE and ED to make you last longer than just under 10 minutes.
     
    • Hilarious! Hilarious! x 2
  5. WildWestDesigns

    WildWestDesigns Major Contributor

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    Try zipping it up and then posting the zip file. It may hit size limits, especially if the wav file is raw pcm data.

    I actually have noticed a decrease in telemarketer on my end. Thankfully. I don't have much time for them even on a good day.
     
  6. Texas_Signmaker

    Texas_Signmaker Very Active Signmaker

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    I was a telemarketer for Citi bank during the evening while I was working at a sign shop during the day. I used to love when people would B/S with us and have a conversation.

    Most calls would be answering machine or hangup. 1 of out 20 would pick up and realize who we were and hang up. Of the 200-400 calls I'd make in a night, I'd pitch maybe 20-30 people and get about 10 sales. If you got an average of 2 sales an hour you were considered a heavy hitter and made big bonuses. (Making way more then my day job at the sign shop)

    That program got shut down after I left. It was a complete scam and we were trained to lie to people to trick them into adding insurance, and they paid good $$ for us to do it. I read that Citi got sued over it and they had to settle for big $$, but probably no where near what they made off of us. I was 19 or 20 when I worked there and lacked a moral compass, so don't judge me on it.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2020
  7. Devon19515

    Devon19515 Member

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    I keep a printed copy of the US Constitution beside my desk just for telemarketers. I start reading it and talking over them as fast as I can. So far I have made it all the way to Article 2 before being hung up on.
    Most only get a few sentences in before they give up.
     
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