A bit confused ... not sure how I should feel

I say kudos to your little gal for noticing the differences among her classmates, yet remaining totally color blind. I especially admire her candor and the ability to make a unwavering decision based on her own experiences. That will serve her (,,,and you) well in her teen years.

Kudos to you as well...you're definitely doing something right.

I certainly would have begged the question as to why she chose as she did. But I would have done so in a non-threatening, curious manner that would have let her totally lead the discussion...in her own "matter-of-fact way", and then let it drop.

Let her do the educating.

JB

 

I don't think they are making Barbie dolls with identifiable genitalia so I think you are in the clear as far as gender fluidity goes.

 

If you had a birthday party for your daughter and her dark skin friend from school bought her a light skin Barbie for a present.
Would that be weird to you or your daughter. Probably not, so why does it seem strange to you when it gets reversed.
Now if you had a son and one of the boys in his class bought him a Ken doll would you be posting about being confused again?

 

Kids, regardless of their color, do not know anything about the differences. That is taught to them, by their parents and surroundings It's like a kid is not afraid of a snake, until we teach them to not like them. I'm not talking prejudice, just the difference of colors. Afterall, we're all from the same race..... the human race. There are some differences, but just not noticed til we get older and taught the differences. Whether they are taught correctly or not, is up to parents, teachers and the other kids whose parents might've taught them some..... not so nice things about others. It swings both ways, ya know.

 

I'd trust your daughter to know what her friend likes...it's not usually the kids that have the issues, it's the adults

 

My son was invited to a black girls birthday party when he was in about 3th grade along with his entire class. She wanted a barbie doll. I can remember being confused also but I don't remember what we ended up buying, most likely I avoided dolls. We only have a handful of black students in our community and at the time she was new to our school, I felt it was very important that he attend to make sure she felt welcome. I think every kid in his class showed up so the other parents must've felt the same way lol It was the BEST birthday party he was ever invited to. We still talk about how much fun it was and he's in 8th grade. They took the entire class roller skating and bought pizza, flashback to the 80's for me, it was a blast! They don't hang out these days but the gal has a big group of friends and I always wonder if that birthday party had something to do with it. It was a great way for her parents to introduce themselves to the other students and parents, and it was quite an impressive party, and I'm sure quite expensive! I think it was the perfect ice breaker.

 

It is this type of thinking that will get us through. Just taking the time to pause and think and take into consideration the view point of other people and cultures. The biggest problem, IMO, is the we all see the world through our own prisms. This very fact often prevents us from understanding that other people may not see things the way we do. Something that may be no big deal to you, may be an offense of the worst kind to other cultures. Imagine how many conflicts and deaths may have been prevented if both parties just paused for just a second. Hats off to you. And to your little lady. I think she knew exactly what she was doing. Gives me a little hope for humans.

 

I'd say as long as there wasn't an issue from the birthday girl or her mom, it's all good. My Puerto Rican sister-in-law threw a hissy fit years ago when my mom bought her daughters non-white Barbies. We thought it was a bit of an over reaction at the time and my mom exchanged them. Many moons later, we've realized that my sister-in-law is contrary no matter what you give her.

Last year, my daughter turned 13 and I offered her to have a sleepover with some of her friends. Eight teen girls is not a good idea, for anyone wondering. BUT, they wanted to play The Sims on my Xbox. I kinda noticed something similar. They'd all randomize the features of their Sim and then customize the clothes. Her friends group is a pretty awesome mix of backgrounds and I'll tell you not one of those kids changed the skin tone of their Sim. Even when the palest girl in the room got a dark skinned Sim. I thought it was pretty awesome.

 

Wait til they start dating.........................

​

 

Yeah, right....... you must be old fashioned, if you think she's gonna bring home her new beau to meet you, before they go out on a date. You'll never have time to load your speed rounds, let alone how to conduct yourself safely. Ya know how good you are with the Google and other features of the internet ?? Well, they're 50 times better at it than you and are quite a few steps ahead of you in the dating game of today. Carry on for another time.

 

Just make sure you stop playing and put away your Barbie dolls before she brings the boy over.

 

My husband went out to his work truck and grabbed ear plugs so he could sleep.

 

There is a reason why they make different skin toned dolls. So kids of different races can all relate personally with the dolls.

But we as adults like to overthink things. Your daughter just liked the colored doll more
.