A note on the Fridge

[Si Allen]

I came home from the track today.



The wife had left a note on the fridge:







"IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore!!



Gone to stay with my Mother."







I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold...







What the hell is she talking about?

 

[401Graphics]

:ROFLMAO:

 

[rjssigns]

My morning laugh. Thank you.

 

[JR's]

:ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: That's not all that's going to be cold. lol

 

[qmr55]

A dietitian was addressing a large audience in Chicago:

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous to some and none of us realize the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

A 75 year old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake."

 

[mpn]

:ROFLMAO::Big Laugh

 

[tattoo.dan]

:Big Laugh needed that this morning! Thanks!

 

[Gino]

Why does your wife have smaller feet than you?

So they can stand closer to the sink.



When do you kick a midget in the balls?

​

When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
​

A man and a woman get married and are on there honeymoon.
​

The woman walks out of the bathroom in a robe, the man says take off your robe were married now. The woman says ok and takes off her robe.
Then the man asks if he can take a picture of her and she asks why and the man says "So I can carry you with me."

A few moments later the man comes out of the bathroom in a robe. The woman says take off your robe were married now. The man says ok and takes off his robe.
The woman asks if she can take a picture and the man asks why and the woman says
"So I can have it enlarged!"
​

 

[rparsons]

A guy goes into a pharmacy walks up to the pharmacist and asks him for some condoms. The pharmacist says: "well they come in packs of 3, 9, and 12". The kid says: "well im going to have dinner at her place tonight and after that were going out and i think im gonna get lucky and once she had me she wont be able to get enough, so better make it twelve". Meanwhile he goes home and gets ready and heads over to her house to have dinner and meet her parents. They sit down ready for dinner and they ask him to say grace. He says it and goes on and on and on... The girl leans over and says: "you didn't tell me you were such a religious person", and he leans back and says: "you didn't tell me your dad was a pharmacist".

 

[DigiPrinter]

A husband and wife were in the bedroom.....the wife was standing naked in front of the mirror and says to her husband, "I'm fat and ugly! I really need you to give me a compliment right now."

The husband looks over and says, "Well, your eyesight is damn near perfect."

THAT's when the fight started......