Armed Forces night at my house - both wanting my daughter!

[Arlo Kalon 2.0]

About a year ago, Kaitlyn became what she said was "friends only" with a Hispanic young man who was in the Army. My wife actually taught him in Kindergarten. They had about two months together before he was to deploy to the Helmand province In Afghanistan. I warned Kait this young man was looking at her as more than just a friend. She insisted I was wrong. Shortly after he deployed, she began dating her current fiance who is in the Air Force. Alex (Army guy) stayed in touch regularly with Kait on Facebook... even from a war zone - what a world we live in today! As she began to post about her new boyfriend, messages from Alex dropped off considerably, and stopped altogether when she announced her engagement. My wife was having classrooms always preparing letters from students to Alex she mailed to him while he was in Afghanistan. He is home now, and my wife persuaded him to come for a visit last night as she had an envelope of new letters for him. Daniel (the fiance) was here. I was already feeling sorry for Alex before he arrived. The two guys were introduced and you could sense the tension between them. The thing is, EITHER of these young men are suitable for my daughter as far as I am concerned. I don't prefer one over the other. I asked Alex the question I ask every returning soldier - how many terrorists did he personally kill that he knew of. I've been told that's in poor taste, but I feel they should be proud of their defense of our country. Alex said he shot at a LOT of them, but always with other guys, so he didn't know for sure which kills were his, but he said there were a LOT of them. Daniel (Air Force) has never deployed yet, so he sat quietly listening to me have a good visit with Alex. I wondered if he felt I admired Alex more than him. Actually, I felt sorry for both of them. My incredibly beautiful daughter was their common link and there was one certifiable winner between them - Daniel. I feel very good about the quality of young men who are defending our country as I hosted two of them in my home last night. I just feel Alex's pain over losing my daughter because he had to deploy. I don't fault Kait at all because she insists she and Alex remain friends to this day. Sadly, I don't think he feels the same. I'm sure he'd give anything if he never had to deploy... and I believe the situation would be very different right now if he hadn't. I always worried about his mental state in battle over losing Kait, but he came through unscathed - except for losing his chance with Kait. It was an uncomfortable visit, but hey - what are you gonna do? Alex has decided to make a career out of the Army and has his sights set on getting into West Point. I'm just proud to know both of these fine young men and have my daughter to thank for bringing them into our lives.

 

[sar bossier]

Wow - What a heartbreaking, yet touching story, Arlo. I truly hope everything works out for each one of you, and Alex finds true happiness in his life. He is blessed that you and your wife genuinely care for him, and your daughter, even though she moved on, and he has people like y'all in the world on his side.

 

[Arlo Kalon 2.0]

Wow - What a heartbreaking, yet touching story, Arlo. I truly hope everything works out for each one of you, and Alex finds true happiness in his life. He is blessed that you and your wife genuinely care for him, and your daughter, even though she moved on, and he has people like y'all in the world on his side.

Thanks Sar. We Do genuinely care for him and were worried continually while he was in a hot spot in Afghanistan. I feel so sorry for him that he had to deploy and lose contact with Kait. Her current fiance is everything a father could want for his daughter. But Alex would have filled the bill equally well. As well as the fact that I've always encouraged my three kids to date people of other than just the caucasian race. I want us to do our part to get the world to a place where we've all melded into a universal race of tan colored people, thus eliminating racism forever. I hope it happens during future generations of my descendants. The world would be a much better place when we're all more similar to one another.

 

[Locals Find!]

Congrats Arlo! Your daughter made the Right choice. Regardless of Race. Which shouldn't even enter into this equation about the two choices. She chose the right one.

AIR FORCE wins again!! Take that ARMY!!

Your Daughters two choices are kinda humorous to me as the Air Force actually started out as part of the Army and to this day their is still a bit of good Natured rivalry between our two branches, ( I was Air Force when I served & my best friends at the time were Navy and Army) in just about everything we do. From getting dates to football and everything else.

 

[sar bossier]

Congrats Arlo! Your daughter made the Right choice. Regardless of Race. Which shouldn't even enter into this equation about the two choices. She chose the right one.

AIR FORCE wins again!! Take that ARMY!!

Your Daughters two choices are kinda humorous to me as the Air Force actually started out as part of the Army and to this day their is still a bit of good Natured rivalry between our two branches, ( I was Air Force when I served & my best friends at the time were Navy and Army) in just about everything we do. From getting dates to football and everything else.

REALLY??!!! THAT's ALL you got out of the ENTIRE post??! Wow ... Shallow Hal ain't got nothin on you, Addy!!! BTW - I am ex-Navy ... SO THE HELL WHAT??! Her choices had NOTHING to do with their branch of service, nor race!!!!!

 

[CanuckSigns]

Ignore Addy, for the most part he's out to lunch.

 

[Locals Find!]

REALLY??!!! THAT's ALL you got out of the ENTIRE post??! Wow ... Shallow Hal ain't got nothin on you, Addy!!! BTW - I am ex-Navy ... SO THE HELL WHAT??! Her choices had NOTHING to do with their branch of service, nor race!!!!!

I was being humorous about it. Jeez chill out. Did you even read my post entirely?? I don't care about race when I served I only saw 4 colors. Red, White, Blue & Green and none of those had a thing to do with race.

 

[Marlene]

I was being humorous about it. Jeez chill out. Did you even read my post entirely?? I don't care about race when I served I only saw 4 colors. Red, White, Blue & Green and none of those had a thing to do with race.

with your rep around here, why not give try to refrain from humor as it just comes across as yet another a$$hole Addie comment. try going a whole week without pi$$ing people off and see if there is any hope for you.

with that said...it is a hard place to be in and it sounds like you did the best you could. he saw more in the relationship than there really was so he might feel like he lost your daughter but he didn't as he never had her to lose. they were friends and are still. it is just so sad to see a heart broken and since he is such a good guy, I would bet he won't be single long. your daughter picks great people to have in her life which must make you really proud of the woman she grew up to be.

 

[john1]

this is turning into facebook...lol please let's get along people!

 

[cptcorn]

Alex got friend-zoned... It's unfortunate but it's his own fault. You're daughter was looking for a friend, he was looking for a mate, and probably did not make that clear to her when they first met each-other. You clearly confirmed this by pointing out she didn't believe that. She will always see him as a friend. There is nothing Alex can do to make your daughter look at him any differently.

Regardless of either situation Alex needs to let go, and you guys need to help him with that. Inviting him over, being friends, etc is not good for anyone, regardless of how awesome he is.

Arlo, asking about the terrorist thing is in very bad taste in my honest opinion. How do they know they were even terrorists? If you want them to be proud for serving their country support them in other ways then reinforcing the nature of killing people. Each side thinks they're doing the right thing. The guy working on aircraft is no less honourable than the guy on the front lines. Each voluntarily joined and each put their lives on the line.

/soapbox

 

[Techman]

Parenting is painful.
But I believe your maturity and good influence will allow her to feel good about her choices. Second guessing by outside influences cause too much pain.

Addy,,

AIR FORCE wins again!! Take that ARMY!!

My son is in the Air Force and is likely flying above some Army guys giving them support as I type. I know he feels the army is just as important as his branch. I know he would scoff at comparing a suitor win the girl as a win for a particular branch of the service is not a valid comparison.

 

[CheapVehicleWrap]

Parenting is painful.

Hear, hear. I've always wondered how you'z people do it.

I've always been a firm believer that the marriage/kids thing is overplayed. Like pockets.

Congrats to you who pull it off.

 

[Locals Find!]

Parenting is painful.
But I believe your maturity and good influence will allow her to feel good about her choices. Second guessing by outside influences cause too much pain.

Addy,,


My son is in the Air Force and is likely flying above some Army guys giving them support as I type. I know he feels the army is just as important as his branch. I know he would scoff at comparing a suitor win the girl as a win for a particular branch of the service is not a valid comparison.

This will be the last time I respond on this thread as to not become a My best friend was in the Army. I trained on an Army Base, My TI was ex-Army. I have nothing against the Army. Its a sibling rivalry thing between us Air Force guys and the Army guys. It wasn't meant as a slight, an insult or anything other than a good natured ribbing. Really, for those who haven't served please understand this. Its no different for me to say things like that about the Army then it is to give your brother a noogie or a punch in the arm at the family picnic. We were Brothers in Arms and have always maintained a close allegiance and camaraderie that a civilian couldn't quite begin to understand.

 

[Mike F]

Alex got friend-zoned... It's unfortunate but it's his own fault. You're daughter was looking for a friend, he was looking for a mate, and probably did not make that clear to her when they first met each-other. You clearly confirmed this by pointing out she didn't believe that. She will always see him as a friend. There is nothing Alex can do to make your daughter look at him any differently.

+1, though I don't completely agree with the following statement. If he can learn to get over it they could develop a great friendship. When me and my best friend, whom I consider my sister these days, started hanging out, I had really strong feelings for her. Long story short, she didn't feel the same way, and after trying so hard for so long to win her over, I finally realized it just wasn't going to happen and accepted it. We definitely grew very close even before that, but once I accepted it we actually got even closer, to the point where we introduce each other as brother and sister, even to our own families. She's slept over more than a few times, in the same bed, and it was just that, sleeping. I know things about her that no one else knows, not even her boyfriend, and she's told me before that she would never even think of telling him about these things.

And you know what? That's good enough for me. Would I still jump at the chance to be with her? Hell yea. But would I rather pine over her and be distant than have the relationship we have now? Hell no.

Congrats to you and your daughter by the way, sounds like you raised her well.

@Marlene don't be so sure about the "he's a good guy, he won't be single long" thing. Anyone that knows me will tell you what a great guy I am, and I've been single for almost 5 years now, about 4 since I've even had so much as a date.

 

[btropical.com]

Wall of text

 

[cdiesel]

Arlo, tell both young men I said "thank you!".

 

[ForgeInc]

I asked Alex the question I ask every returning soldier - how many terrorists did he personally kill that he knew of. I've been told that's in poor taste,

So glad someone told you this, they're right.

 

[Dave Drane]

Dave, you and melissa will be the best "in-laws" any guy could ever have. KR will be very proud of you both and you son in law will have you as the best parents (beside his own) that he could ever have.

 

[skyhigh]

Alex got friend-zoned... It's unfortunate but it's his own fault. You're daughter was looking for a friend, he was looking for a mate, and probably did not make that clear to her when they first met each-other.

Or did she lead him to think otherwise? Evidently, Arlo himself seemed to think so, as he conveyed his concerns to his daughter (which she brushed off as incorrect).

We need a new thread listing...."facebook topics"

 

[Arlo Kalon 2.0]

So glad someone told you this, they're right.

Maybe someone can help me out here because I ask every returning service person the question:"any idea of how many of the enemy you personally took out?". I honestly want to know what's wrong with the question. All I've heard so far is nobody wants to be asked about taking another human life. I haven't forgotten the images on my tv of the thousands of American lives ground up in collapsing buildings. As a nation, we were once pumped to avenge this when GWB said "let's roll" at the end of his speech about the attack. I'm too old to be there with a gun in my hand, but if I was, I like to think I'd openly discuss my success.