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I think I am done working for myself....
- Thread starter Rick
- Start date
Rick if you want a challenge come to the east coast and
1) shovel my driveway
2) shovel my driveway
3) did I say shovel my driveway LOL
Snow is coming and I am sure with the snow we get you won't be bored.:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
I almost forgot you can even help me with my business.:Big Laugh
RC
1) shovel my driveway
2) shovel my driveway
3) did I say shovel my driveway LOL
Snow is coming and I am sure with the snow we get you won't be bored.:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
I almost forgot you can even help me with my business.:Big Laugh
RC
VizualVoice
I just learned how to change my title status
But you're gonna have to do something with al the buzzards that attracts. Maybe you could sell tickets?
We could open a cat ranch.
....After we skin the cats for their pelts, we have their carcasses leftover.
Si Allen
New Member
JR's
New Member
We could open a cat ranch.
Don't laugh. Hear me out. I've got an option to lease 40 acres of land nearby. It's all fenced in and ready to go. We stock it with 100,000 female cats and enough males to breed them all. The annual yield should be around 1,000,000 cats a year. The market for cat pelts to fur lined glove manufacturers is 90¢ a piece ... so the gross should come in around $900,000.00 a year.
The problem that plagued me for years with this proposition was, "What do you feed these cats all year when you only have 90¢ a piece to work with?" Then it hit me. It was so obvious!
We run a fence down the middle of the property and put all the cats on one side and stock the other side with about a million rats. Nobody cares about rats and they breed ten times faster than cats. So we feed the rats to the cats and solve that problem.
The only other problem is what do you feed the rats. They don't produce any revenue. Then it hit me. It was so obvious!
After we skin the cats for their pelts, we have their carcasses leftover.
So we feed the rats to the cats and the cats to the rats! We end up with 1,000,000 pelts a year and move to easy street! And we haven't even considered the franchising potential.
OMG that is so F-n SICK. I am LMAO
Tim Aucoin
New Member
We could open a cat ranch.
Put me down for a 10% buy-in Fred... I love it!!! :ROFLMAO:
JR's
New Member
hi Rick sorry to here this. I could help out I could send you one of my shirts after i do some yard work. smelly. and I think GG is lying she has Hubby and 2 grown boys for all the sweat you would want.
JR
Gino
Premium Subscriber
Rick........
Do yourself a favor and don't start with cat skins or rat feeding, the Chinese restaurants pretty much already have that all sewn up....... and are good at it.
Why don't you consider teaching yourself to become left-handed. There's many openings in that field, not to mention left-handed circles. Don't let out, developing ovals. That's an area, that without a computer, most folks can't fathom a'tall.
You could also dust off your old sneakers and go for long walks.... like from your house to the Great Lakes and back and continue doing it until you can do it within a month or so.
I also hear that the Salvation Army is looking for more Santa Clauses this year. How's your bell ringing these days ??
Do yourself a favor and don't start with cat skins or rat feeding, the Chinese restaurants pretty much already have that all sewn up....... and are good at it.
Why don't you consider teaching yourself to become left-handed. There's many openings in that field, not to mention left-handed circles. Don't let out, developing ovals. That's an area, that without a computer, most folks can't fathom a'tall.
You could also dust off your old sneakers and go for long walks.... like from your house to the Great Lakes and back and continue doing it until you can do it within a month or so.
I also hear that the Salvation Army is looking for more Santa Clauses this year. How's your bell ringing these days ??
Gino
Premium Subscriber
Know why that cat was so pissed ??
Looks like someone just cut both its ears off and it's in a lota frickin' pain.
Deaton Design
New Member
Good Lord Fred, your imagination has ran wild! :ROFLMAO:
Deaton Design
New Member
50 good ways to skin a cat.
1. knife.
2. shard of glass.
3. small explosives.
4. teeth.
5. the power of prayer.
6. can opener.
7. unzip from neck to navel.
8. set a series of short-term easily attainable goals, resulting in skinned cat. accomplish goals.
9. peer pressure, "all the cool cats are getting skinned"
10. whittle it off.
11. give cat post-hypnotic suggestion to get skinned every time it hears the phrase "is it hot in here?" later, say phrase.
12. rent instructional cat skinning video, study carefully, and apply what you learn.
13. tell cat pleasant tale about a young boy who loves fruit. while cat is distracted by story, quietly, gently remove skin.
14. use your super samurai slice action!
15. try the classic 'toothpaste tube' method.
16. centrifugal force.
17. suddenly and severely frighten cat. try sneaking up and clapping cymbals.
18. marry cat. divorce cat. take cat to court for half of skin. (repeat for full skin)
19. allow cat to evolve beyond need for skin.
20. huff and puff and blow his skin off.
21. offer your own skin in trade. welch on deal.
22. vote yes on proposition 98. (the cat skinning law)
23.procrastinate. wait until it's almost to late. promise to skin cat tomorrow. forget. (this method works for me)
24. find a way to make cat so angry that it's skin falls off. (this method requires much persistence)
25. if in a horror movie, dream about cat getting skinned. wake up to discover cat was really skinned!!
26. try some sort of skinning machine.
27. change definition of skin to mean "read" and change cat to mean "this sentence"
28. press cat's eject button.
29. travel forward in time to sometime after you've already skinned cat. get skin and return to present time. triumph!
30. remove tab a(skin attachment) from tab b. (get it? tab b... tabby. never mind, this is way over your head)
31. next time you're cleaning 'accidently' use your powerful new suck-o-lux vacuum to remove cat's internal organs.
32. ask nicely to 'borrow' skin for just a moment.
33. dare cat to get skinned. if that fails, double dare it. finally, as last resort, triple dog dare it.
34. approach cat with scissors, assuring it you will only be doing some minor alterations to it's skin.
35. run in the opposite direction at the speed of light. (nobody knows why, but it works)
36. wait until opposite day and then don't skin cat.
37. write screenplay containing scene where cat gets skinned. get screenplay produced. perform skinning scene.
38. next time cat removes skin to clean bones, swipe!
39. invite cat to play strip poker. cheat.
40. destroy entire universe except for cat's skin.
41. simply click your heels together three times and say "there's no cat like a skinned cat"
42. tie one end of string to doorknob, other end to cat's skin. slam door.
43. wait until cat gets stuck in tree. call fire department to rescue it. tell them "only rescue the skin part"
44. lie and say you already skinned cat. grow to believe lie.
45. perhaps a clever skin inspector costume might pull the trick.
46. accuse cat of murder. collect skin as evidence.
47. using a magnetic hypersonic resonance decapacitor, deplete invisible bond holding together cat's skin molecules.
48. flood the cat out of it's skin, in the same way you'd flood a gopher out of a hole.
49. set phasers to 'skin' and fire when ready!
50. let someone else do it.
1. knife.
2. shard of glass.
3. small explosives.
4. teeth.
5. the power of prayer.
6. can opener.
7. unzip from neck to navel.
8. set a series of short-term easily attainable goals, resulting in skinned cat. accomplish goals.
9. peer pressure, "all the cool cats are getting skinned"
10. whittle it off.
11. give cat post-hypnotic suggestion to get skinned every time it hears the phrase "is it hot in here?" later, say phrase.
12. rent instructional cat skinning video, study carefully, and apply what you learn.
13. tell cat pleasant tale about a young boy who loves fruit. while cat is distracted by story, quietly, gently remove skin.
14. use your super samurai slice action!
15. try the classic 'toothpaste tube' method.
16. centrifugal force.
17. suddenly and severely frighten cat. try sneaking up and clapping cymbals.
18. marry cat. divorce cat. take cat to court for half of skin. (repeat for full skin)
19. allow cat to evolve beyond need for skin.
20. huff and puff and blow his skin off.
21. offer your own skin in trade. welch on deal.
22. vote yes on proposition 98. (the cat skinning law)
23.procrastinate. wait until it's almost to late. promise to skin cat tomorrow. forget. (this method works for me)
24. find a way to make cat so angry that it's skin falls off. (this method requires much persistence)
25. if in a horror movie, dream about cat getting skinned. wake up to discover cat was really skinned!!
26. try some sort of skinning machine.
27. change definition of skin to mean "read" and change cat to mean "this sentence"
28. press cat's eject button.
29. travel forward in time to sometime after you've already skinned cat. get skin and return to present time. triumph!
30. remove tab a(skin attachment) from tab b. (get it? tab b... tabby. never mind, this is way over your head)
31. next time you're cleaning 'accidently' use your powerful new suck-o-lux vacuum to remove cat's internal organs.
32. ask nicely to 'borrow' skin for just a moment.
33. dare cat to get skinned. if that fails, double dare it. finally, as last resort, triple dog dare it.
34. approach cat with scissors, assuring it you will only be doing some minor alterations to it's skin.
35. run in the opposite direction at the speed of light. (nobody knows why, but it works)
36. wait until opposite day and then don't skin cat.
37. write screenplay containing scene where cat gets skinned. get screenplay produced. perform skinning scene.
38. next time cat removes skin to clean bones, swipe!
39. invite cat to play strip poker. cheat.
40. destroy entire universe except for cat's skin.
41. simply click your heels together three times and say "there's no cat like a skinned cat"
42. tie one end of string to doorknob, other end to cat's skin. slam door.
43. wait until cat gets stuck in tree. call fire department to rescue it. tell them "only rescue the skin part"
44. lie and say you already skinned cat. grow to believe lie.
45. perhaps a clever skin inspector costume might pull the trick.
46. accuse cat of murder. collect skin as evidence.
47. using a magnetic hypersonic resonance decapacitor, deplete invisible bond holding together cat's skin molecules.
48. flood the cat out of it's skin, in the same way you'd flood a gopher out of a hole.
49. set phasers to 'skin' and fire when ready!
50. let someone else do it.
Rick
Certified Enneadecagon Designer
First of all, I love cats and there is no forum for cat skinning 101....
I shoveled snow when I lived in Colorado, there is a reason my grandparents moved from there after WW1
Gino, you have never been to hemet, there is no such thing as good Chinese in this part of California.... and if it was good, these toothless old farts would not know it.
I'm already left-handed..
Salvation Army only hire tweakers, and I can't stand Xmas...
I am going on a road trip soon so that takes care of the great lakes thing...
and hey JR... a used yard work t-shirt... I have a gardener so I don't have to smell that... that's a different stink I don't like
I watched City Slickers to get some insight on the middle aged man... maybe when my TV show "Men of a Certain Age" comes on, I might find an answer. Since I'm a darn good designer, I'm gonna stick to what I know, just need humans around.
I shoveled snow when I lived in Colorado, there is a reason my grandparents moved from there after WW1
Gino, you have never been to hemet, there is no such thing as good Chinese in this part of California.... and if it was good, these toothless old farts would not know it.
I'm already left-handed..
Salvation Army only hire tweakers, and I can't stand Xmas...
I am going on a road trip soon so that takes care of the great lakes thing...
and hey JR... a used yard work t-shirt... I have a gardener so I don't have to smell that... that's a different stink I don't like
I watched City Slickers to get some insight on the middle aged man... maybe when my TV show "Men of a Certain Age" comes on, I might find an answer. Since I'm a darn good designer, I'm gonna stick to what I know, just need humans around.
signage
New Member
Rent some space at a funeral home:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
Fred Weiss
Merchant Member
Perhaps You Should Just Learn to Hold Your Mouth Right
The secret to true happiness and contentment is in holding one's mouth right.
Holding one's mouth right is not something I can show you how to do. But when you do it, everything goes well. Your days are better, you make all the traffic lights, others sense that you are special and treat you well. When you draw circles, the ends join properly and they are perfect. You just kind of need to keep track of it ... how you hold your mouth that is. Check it when things go great and check it when everything goes wrong. Pretty soon you'll figure it out. A few well placed mirrors will speed the process.
Julius Caesar knew how to hold his mouth right. Conquered everyone in sight. Had the world at his feet. Then he woke up one morning and didn't hold his mouth right. You guessed it ... "et tu brute!".
Napoleon Bonaparte also knew the secret. Conquered everyone in sight. Had the world at his feet. Then he woke up one morning and forgot to hold his mouth right. You guessed it ... Waterloo!
I can always tell when I forget to hold my mouth right. And sometimes it takes a few minutes to reposition it properly. But it's worth the trouble even if it is hard at times. It has taken more than twenty years to get my Mrs. to also hold her mouth right but boy, when she does, we're golden.
The secret to true happiness and contentment is in holding one's mouth right.
Holding one's mouth right is not something I can show you how to do. But when you do it, everything goes well. Your days are better, you make all the traffic lights, others sense that you are special and treat you well. When you draw circles, the ends join properly and they are perfect. You just kind of need to keep track of it ... how you hold your mouth that is. Check it when things go great and check it when everything goes wrong. Pretty soon you'll figure it out. A few well placed mirrors will speed the process.
Julius Caesar knew how to hold his mouth right. Conquered everyone in sight. Had the world at his feet. Then he woke up one morning and didn't hold his mouth right. You guessed it ... "et tu brute!".
Napoleon Bonaparte also knew the secret. Conquered everyone in sight. Had the world at his feet. Then he woke up one morning and forgot to hold his mouth right. You guessed it ... Waterloo!
I can always tell when I forget to hold my mouth right. And sometimes it takes a few minutes to reposition it properly. But it's worth the trouble even if it is hard at times. It has taken more than twenty years to get my Mrs. to also hold her mouth right but boy, when she does, we're golden.