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[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]Irish Invasion
The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
“Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!” a heavily accented
voice said. “This is Paddy down at the Harp
Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are
officially declaring war on yuh. We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty.”
“Well, Paddy,” Sarkozy replied, “This is
indeed important news. How big is your army?”
“Right now,” says Paddy, after a moment’s
calculation, “there is meself, me cousin Sean,
me next door neighbour Seamus and the entire
darts team from the pub. That makes eleven.”
Sarkozy paused. “I must tell you, paddy, that
I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Begorah!” says Paddy. “I”ll have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again.
“Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have
managed to get us some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be paddy?” Sarkozy asks.
“Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy”s farm tractor.”
Sarkozy sighs amused. “I must tell you,
Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000
armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have
increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.”
“Saints preserve us!” says Paddy. I”ll have to get back to you.”
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day.
“Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have
managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie
McLaughlin”s ultra-light with a couple of
shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the
Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!”
Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared
his throat. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I
have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases
are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air
missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have
increased my army to 200,000.”
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” says paddy, “I
will have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day..
Top o’ the mornin’, Mr. Sarkozy. I am sorry
to inform you that we have had to call off the war.”
“Really? I am sorry to hear that,” says
Sarkozy. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
“Well,” says Paddy, “we had a long chat
over a few pints of Guinness and packets of
crisps, and we decided there is no fookin’ way
we can feed 200,000 prisoners.”
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The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
“Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!” a heavily accented
voice said. “This is Paddy down at the Harp
Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are
officially declaring war on yuh. We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty.”
“Well, Paddy,” Sarkozy replied, “This is
indeed important news. How big is your army?”
“Right now,” says Paddy, after a moment’s
calculation, “there is meself, me cousin Sean,
me next door neighbour Seamus and the entire
darts team from the pub. That makes eleven.”
Sarkozy paused. “I must tell you, paddy, that
I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Begorah!” says Paddy. “I”ll have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again.
“Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have
managed to get us some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be paddy?” Sarkozy asks.
“Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy”s farm tractor.”
Sarkozy sighs amused. “I must tell you,
Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000
armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have
increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.”
“Saints preserve us!” says Paddy. I”ll have to get back to you.”
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day.
“Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have
managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie
McLaughlin”s ultra-light with a couple of
shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the
Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!”
Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared
his throat. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I
have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases
are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air
missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have
increased my army to 200,000.”
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” says paddy, “I
will have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day..
Top o’ the mornin’, Mr. Sarkozy. I am sorry
to inform you that we have had to call off the war.”
“Really? I am sorry to hear that,” says
Sarkozy. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
“Well,” says Paddy, “we had a long chat
over a few pints of Guinness and packets of
crisps, and we decided there is no fookin’ way
we can feed 200,000 prisoners.”
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