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My birthday present!!!!!

Discussion in 'General Chit-Chat' started by OldPaint, May 19, 2013.

  1. OldPaint

    OldPaint Major Contributor

    A MAN.......................and his NEW TOOL)))))
     

    Attached Files:

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  2. John Butto

    John Butto Very Active Member

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    I am just glad you did not show us your old tool. Happy Birthday.
     
  3. Rick

    Rick Certified Enneadecagon Designer

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    Valle Vista
    I love pics of men enjoying their tool.
     
  4. GAC05

    GAC05 Major Contributor

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    Guam USA
    Happy birthday Old Paint!

    This one has been posted a few times I think:

    DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching wood stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

    WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh--!'

    SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

    PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

    BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

    HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

    VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

    TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

    BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good wood into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

    PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

    STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

    HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

    UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, and hands, but only while in use.

    SON-OF-A-B*TCH TOOL: (A personal favorite!!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a B*TCH!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need. Hope you found this informative.





    wayne k
    guam usa
     
  5. James Burke

    James Burke Being a grandpa is more fun than working

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    Mitten State
    GAC...here's just one more: Crescent Hammer - the name says it all.
     
  6. Red Ball

    Red Ball Very Active Member

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    Aug 20, 2008
    IRVING, TEXAS
    And the color goes with your eyes!

    Happy Birthday!
     
  7. HDvinyl

    HDvinyl Trump 2020

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    halfway house.
    2nd picture

    Looks like the tool wants to tango with the mullet.
     
  8. Marlene

    Marlene Major Contributor

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    Jun 8, 2004
    Vermont
    Happy Birthday
     
  9. Mosh

    Mosh Major Contributor

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    Nerbaska
    Happy B-day you ol' koot!!!
    :rock-n-roll:
     
  10. Gino

    Gino Premium Subscriber

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    Jun 7, 2006
    PA
    :birthday:


    Just sumptin' about not seeing a cake here and lookin'atcha hugging a saw, puzzles me.
     
  11. Billct2

    Billct2 Major Contributor

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    Mar 12, 2005
    New England
    Oh thank you thank you thank you, it wasn't another speedo.
    Happy Birthday Joe.
     
  12. signage

    signage Major Contributor

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    Penn
    Glad to see you made it for another year and lets all hope many more!!

    My eyes thank you for it nor being another speedo photo:covereyes:
     
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