So the guy isn't a cracker jack designer. He asked for suggestions or help to improve it. Rick is the only one who made an effort. The rest of you slamming the guy should put up your stuff before spouting off.
Chuck... Do some research on previous design threads. Plenty of good advice in those. You do have a lot to learn about design and can learn at least the basics, if you focus your study on that part of the business. Rick made excellent points about the purpose of good design. Making an effective sign is no accident a lot more then sticking letters on a board. Those of us here who have devoted our lives to sign design can pick out the obvious mistakes in yours. Font selection, layout, contrast, size, spacing, negative and positive space, kerning are just a few of the issues that need to be addressed when laying out a sign.
Take all the advice with a grain of salt, but invest some time in learning how to create a good looking sign. Otherwise you are just competing with all the other rubbish out there.
Prioritize the most important thing on the sign. Don't rely on unnecessary outlines or special effects. Contrast is your friend as well as legible fonts.
Although I didn't put more than twenty minutes into this and didn't take into account any specific guidelines, it just illustrates what you can do with all the above things I mentioned. And this is probably not what I would have designed if I were doing it for the client. Once I knew more about their business, I would come up with something very design specific and with real purpose. This example just demonstrates prioritizing the message. I could go on and on about the psychology of the design process but this should give you plenty to consider.
An important thing to remember, is don't always do what your customer wants. Because if you leave it up to them, they will want too much on the sign. It's up to you to decide what is absolutely important for the sign. Remember, less is more when it comes to signs. The hardest thing for you to overcome is convincing them of that. There are ways to do that too, but in time you will learn how to control the interview and design process.