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Strange Conversation

Atomic DNA

New Member
So a guy comes into my shop this morning. 375-400 lbs, unkempt, unshaven with glasses on crooked. He asks me a simple question:

Oddman: Can you do an Asian elephant?

Me: What do you mean by do?

Oddman: Paint, you know.

Me: Oh, paint. What type of substrate are you talking about?

Oddman: Sustrate?

Me: What do you want it painted on? Canvas, metal, t shirt?

Oddman: I would like it on canvas.

Me: Do you have a piece of reference material to take it from?

Oddman: Wha?

Me: Do you have a picture of the elephant you want?

Oddman: No. Do you have a Computer?

Me: Yes I have a computer. But unfortunately, I do not have internet

Oddman: Well, you don't have to have the internet to get the picture.

Me: So, what you are basically telling me is that I may already have a picture of an Asian elephant already on my computer?

He stops and tries to collect himself.

Oddman: Do you have internet on your cell phone?

Me: No. You will have to bring me in a picture if you want something like that.

He then walks further into my store and notices one of my originals: picture of a black/silver viper on canvas doing a burnout. Dimensions are 3' X 4'.

Oddman: How much for a picture like that?

Me: 4,500.

Oddman: No, I mean of the elephant.

Me: 3,500

Oddman: Well, I am asking for a friend. She wants one of her family on a 20 X 20. She has a lot of money.

Me: Well, we can do a 20" X 20" here.

Oddman: No. A 20' X' 20' canvas. A big one.

Me: That is a giant sized canvas. Are you sure? Where would she put such a thing.

Oddman: In her house. She has a huge house. She once paid a guy 30K to paint her bedroom in camouflage.

Me: Really? That's awesome. What type of profession is she in?

Oddman: Nothing. Her husband makes all the money.

Me: Oh, that explains it. Are they from around here, I might know them.

Oddman: No, they live a few miles away. He works for the stock market that is in New York. He flies up there every couple of days to work.

Me: Man, that is incredible. Why doesn't she commission the painting out to the fellow that did her camo bedroom?

Oddman: 'Cause he said he could make more money painting cars so he moved out to Las Vegas and makes 250K a week painting cars and motorcycles.

I didn't want to tell him that we do the same thing.

Me: Man, I am in the wrong business.

Oddman: How much are your license plates?

Me: 24.95.

Oddman: That's a good price. Well, I will be seeing you next Tuesday!
 

GAC05

Quit buggin' me
So,
did you find any Asian elephants on your computer before you logged onto the web?....

wayne k
guam usa

Think I'd call next Tuesday a rain day and close the shop - just in case.
 

John Butto

New Member
Heavy set guy walks in a sign shop and asks, "Can you do an Asian elephant"?
I told him, "I will try, my wife is a gorilla". (drum roll)
 

Gino

Premium Subscriber
Heavy set guy walks in a sign shop and asks, "Can you do an Asian elephant"?
I told him, "I will try, my wife is a gorilla". (drum roll)

Heavy set guy walks in a sign shop and asks, "Can you do an Asian elephant"?

Don't know, I've never tried. I don't think I can reach quite that far.............




:iamwithstupid
 

Fanaticus

New Member
My parents neighbors family is very, uh, large, stinky, unkept, slovenly, sweaty, poorly dressed, poorly spoken, has stinky breath, pock-marked skin...... but very very very wealthy. Ridiculously wealthy. I don't get it.
 

threeputt

New Member
Don't think you'll see him again. I know the type.

Sometimes people are waiting for a bus outside our shop and walk in because they've got some time to kill. (I hate this)

They strike up a conversation about some phantom project that doesn't exist and waste your time.

Sounds like that's what's going on with your guy.
 
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