The Pig with the Wooden Leg

City cousin goes to visit the country cousin down on the farm and is getting the grand tour. They get to the pig sty and the city cousin notices that there's a pig with a wooden leg.

"Hey Cuz", he says, "How come that pig has a wooden leg?"

"It's a long story", says Country. "You see that pile of ashes there? That used to be our barn. I was milkin' the cow and she got all ansie and kicked me plum in the head ... knocked me out and hit the lantern too. Caught the barn on fire! Well, that pig happened on by, caught the scent, saw what was happenin' and dragged me on out. Saved my life!"

"Uh huh", says City, "but what about the wooden leg?"

"I'm gettin' to that. Now ya see that hill over yonder? Well the Sheriff had a road gang up there workin' and a couple of them convicts snuck away and was hidin' in the tall grass. They'da come down and killed us in our sleep that night except that pig happened on by, caught their scent, started in squealin' and carryin' on and pointin' like a bird dog until the deputy noticed the ruckus and caught 'em. Saved our lives!"

"That's really something", says City, "but what about the wooden leg?"

"I'm gettin' to that", says Country. "If ya look down past them trees, there's a pond. My Mrs. decided to catch some fish for dinner. She climbed up on a rock and went to cast her line and slipped and fell in the water. Now that woman don't swim a lick and she'd a drowned for sure except that pig happened on by, took one look, dove in the water, pulled her out and even gave her mouth to mouth resuscitation. Saved her life!

"Phenomenal", says City, "but what about the wooden leg?"

"Well shucks, cousin", say Country, "With a pig that good ... you don't eat him all at once!"