josh i feel you. but the only thing that would do what you are talking about is screen print (considering he didnt lam and needs a better alternative).
the real issue here is he didnt do the job correctly. 10K stickers in the size he did, we would be happy to do. but we would have done it right. oracal 200 lam at least. for god sakes it would have been like .003 cents per decal.
this is a lesson in learning. for god sakes we PAY for so much learning its redic. this is low level learning, but learning non the less.
its a simple pleasure pain theory. there is no scratch without itch, there is no pleasure without pain.
learn from your mistake and do it right the next time.