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Meh, wouldn't say douche canoe. More like a magnificent string of anal beads. Then if you would you use them correctly you would certainly not "be in the pink."
When you have to name-drop to justify your work, it means nothing. People have paid big money for crap before. Plus your red/white logo, makes you look like a nazi.
You can also bid on the Nuns on the Catholic channels that ask for donations. Just tell them you want that "hot thang" in the black and white. Mmmmmmmm
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