Copperplate..ugh..it's the font that you think is good for everything but isn't good for anything, you'll make it work though, a little bigger and bolder than your first one and make sure the angle is correct. I agree that there should be 3 girls if possible and different girls. Now, about that first girl, her face is the most prominent thing in the whole design to my eye. I don't know what it is, maybe it's just because I can't see too well on you picture or the fact that her hair can't be seen in the background but her face looks disproportionatly large, round and scary to me. Also, I think there's a little too much splatter in your last version but other than that it's a design with good impact.