I think you need to define "friends" better. What makes a "friend" in your eyes?
Are we cordial, respectful (not always mutually on the receiving end) and civil with our other competitors? Sure.
Does that make us "friends"? maybe, but not in my definition.
Do we cover an overflow job from time to time and do wholesale work for nearby shops that don't have a type of machine or expertise we might have? Frequently
Do a few of us borrow materials or tools from each other if in need? Regularly
Do we sip a few beers at the local craft brewery and trade shop talk, etc. after hours? At least once a week.
There is one outgoing ( both in his personality and his status at the nearby shop he has a diminishing interest in ) competitor who we've befriended and we actually do social things together outside of work and the local hangout. He is what I consider a friend and I also consider him a peer and colleague. I'd hire him in a minute if I knew it wouldn't start a war with his soon to be former partner who remains in charge of the company.
They had a chance to buy the company I bought and neither must have any savings or decent credit because we bought the company with little down and just our excellent credit. Once our "friend" got to know us, he took our arrival and purchase of the business as any self-assured, good craftsperson would, he embraced the idea of us all doing better designed and better looking work for our whole community despite being in competition. Not that there weren't plenty of other great signmakers around here already, but our arrival has only helped elevate the quality of work being created.
That being said, the other partner who our "friend" is escaping sooner than later feigns friendship with my wife and I, is condescending and patronizing towards us all the while actively trying to poach our clients, underbids any job he thinks we may also be bidding on which is having an effect on the local market as a whole, and flaunts the fact that he is doing electrical signs and channel letter jobs without permits, insurance or licensing. Its like he's challenging me to turn him in, but we have no interest in doing that type of work, so our days are filled doing the best we can with our type of work. The fact that he can also underbid the other fully licensed, insured electric sign companies in the area is the only thing keeping them in business. Sooner or later, one of those companies or any number of local permit departments will catch on and who knows what will happen.
When we first took over here, he acted all hurt as if we had cheated him out of something. For the sake of civility and peace, I've never confronted him with the obvious fact that if only he had put away a few bucks and possibly taken better care of his credit, he could have easily eliminated his primary competition. Of course, he would have had to learn how to manage a much larger company, straddle two locations about a half mile apart, tackle the obvious dual branding challenges, staffing, etc.
The ironic thing now is that he has approached us multiple times for the last year about buying him out.
Our shops are only about a half mile apart and when one of "their" customers mistakenly comes here and discovers the mistake, we ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS send them down the street. The same cannot be said when the same thing happens with one of our potential customers and we have multiple instances of it happening to know its true.
Its amazing the stuff one can learn about how a competitor operates, treats their employees, targets your customers, their pricing, etc. after a few rounds of drinks.
So, to the OP, I'd be careful about who and how you define a "friend". Maybe those others in your area were comfortable with your "friendship" when you were newer, smaller and using their services. Once the training wheels came off and you established yourself, the dynamics of the relationship changed because you no longer were depending on them, nullifying their position of superiority.
