Have you ever made a large Move for work.

[WrapperX]

I've been given the very real possiblitiy of a job oppertunity that, with out any other way to put it, shows great potential for oppertunity for both me and my wife. The only catch is that it's on the other side of the country - 17 hrs from all of our friends and ALL of our Family. Both of which are very important to us. We both currently work, but are more or less not all that satisfied with where our jobs are potentially taking us.

My question to you out there in Signs101 land is: Have you ever had to make a simalar decision for work or otherwise and if so how did it work out for you?

Now I know your situation will certainly not gaurentee the same results, good or bad, for me and my family. But I'm very torn on what I should do. My gut is split between staying and going. My head says take it and make the best and my heart is breaking to think about leaving our family and friends. The strangest feelings of sadness and lonliness and extreme excitment for all the possibilities ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

I'm in need of council that is for sure. Any insight or advice is greatly appreciated.

 

[jc1cell]

I can say that I did.

Over ten years ago. I had a great job as Digital Prepress Supervisor for a big print outfit in Ohio. There was a positive outlook for the future. Some family situations were made aware to me going on here on the island, so I found a job at the biggest print outfit here. I made the move. Lasted only 6 months at that place, you wouldn't believe the poor corporate culture they had. My quality of life had to be adjusted dramatically since.

Of course, you're doing the opposite. But I can tell you that, while in Ohio, I was away from all my family but my brother. He was about an hour away. And it wasn't something that can't be handled. If you feel that the work your being offered will improve your quality of life, go for it. You can always make trips to visit family during the year.

jc

 

[SignManiac]

I had an eighteen years established business in New York that was a gold mine. I wasn't happy and decided to get divorced, move to Florida and start my life over from zero basically. Best move I ever made and unfortunately some of my family members ended up moving down here too. I don't see them which is fortunate for me, so in my case no regrets whatsoever....

 

[WrapperX]

Maniac - it sounds like your move was to get AWAY from family - LOL - I'm concerned about doing just the oppostie of that, in that I don't WANT to leave my family. I guess what they say is true. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. They are always there and always a part of you no matter where you go!

 

[TheSnowman]

I've never made the move, but my sister's family basically did that. Went from Indiana to Washington State. My sister is VERY VERY family oriented and it's been really hard for them. It wouldn't be too bad, but doing what he's doing, and having three kids, they don't have enough extra money to fly home. It generally only happens when my parents fly them back.

That being said...if you have the opportunity to make the money to enhance your life, and be able to travel "home" to see people...I don't think it would be as bad...at least not how my sister has said it.

 

[WrapperX]

JC - So what you are saying is that you took a job in Ohio that took you away from your family on the Island. Worked there,Ohio, for a time but then had to move back since?

And I hear what your saying about visiting. It's just such a huge change for us. My family is currently just under an hour away and we see everyone at least once a month for one reason or another. To move that to only once or twice a year is such a leap! It's just soo scary! It would litterally be starting over in a whole nother world. the East Coast is NOT the midwest.

 

[earplug]

The wife and I moved from Chicago to Denver somewhat on a whim. She was born in Chicago and I had been there 15 years. We decided that Chicago was just to crowded and commuting was a pain. I was able to get a transfer with my job so we just sold the house and went. It has worked out great.

The job is only part of the equation. Make sure the location is someplace you would want to LIVE. Also, make sure the wife really wants to go.

Over time you will loose touch with some of the people you thought were "friends". Most like likely they were only acquaintances. The real friends will still be there as well as family.

How it works for you will depend on your attitude. If you are "going" somewhere it will probably work. If you are "leaving" then maybe not. If you are the type of person that likes to go on vacation and discover new things the move can be great. If you have never left your neighborhood it may be a challenge.

Good luck with your decision.

Jack

 

[WrapperX]

I have lived in the Chicago land area my entire life - 31 years. My wife is born and raised rural Northern IL - she has never lived anywhere else. I moved from the suberbs out to where we are now for college - a big move for me but it's only an hour outside of Chicago suberbs - so not THAT big. I've always thought that I would never leave this area - being the Chicagoland. I love the City - to this day I still get chills driving into the city - although I would never want live IN THE CITY. The wife has very specific job goals and one of them is to eventually work for the FBI - which of course is centered in Washington DC so there was always this unspoken understanding when we got married that at some point her career was going to force us to move. It was never thought of that it would be MY career that made us move first. Kind of ironic. And where as she is simalarily excited about the possibilities - shes almost more terrified then I. On the outside she talks big about these hopes and dreams of working for the FBI and leaving everything that she knows but deep down inside shes a country girl who doesn't know much outside of her familiar surroundings. And now here we are faced with the real possibility of moving and now it's like we both have cold feet and are reluctant to pull the trigger.

As for going some where or leaving - it would be a combination of both. We would leaving our friends and family to go somewhere new and possibly great! You can see how this is tugging at me in both directions.

 

[iSign]

I have not experienced a choice like yours, but I did move from my family & friends in Chicago, to Oregon in 1979, with my first wife. We were 20, and by 21 we had a baby & a new circle of friends & were very happy. Family was 3000 miles away, but our future felt like it wasn't in Chicago, so there were no regrets.

5 years later, she and I were to go our separate ways. Our 4 year old began her years of joint custody living first with me in my new home in Hawaii, and the next year in Santa Fe NM with her mom. Both her mom and myself found new circles of friends, life changing new career opportunities, and the continued sense the neither of our futures were back in Chicago... so outside the difficulties in that marriage, no regrets on a second significant move away from friends, and in my case, further from family...

Besides an 18 month stint in New York City where my sign career was spawned off my architectural background, my next move was to Santa Fe to continue another 6 years of co-parenting without my daughter having to have her childhood friendships disrupted with annual moves. I can say once again for me, that there was that same sense of exhilaration for all the possibilities. I can also say I was an extremely social creature making friends easy and often...so in each move I left behind a network of friends that was significant to me, (and in fact that I could return to & find largely intact) but the adventures ahead of me always were always more compelling then the familiarity & security of the valuable relationships I chose to move away from...

Those last 2 moves (or 3 with the shorter NYC experience) were done without a significant other making the trip, which was of course one more of many very different elements from the fork in the road that you are facing.

For me it was perhaps an easier decision to make alone, but there was times I felt alone as I rebuilt a new network of friends after creating a sudden vacuum around myself where there had previously been a full and busy life with friends, in bands, jobs, kids schools, athletic camaraderie, and all the support that comes from having a place in a community, but looking back I wouldn't live those choices in my life any differently.

The last move was back to Maui 15 years ago, after my daughter was 16 & my ex was moving her to Austin. Again, the network of friends, community support, social opportunity & the comfort of cruising along in a well established routine was sacrificed, and the excitement of new and different choices, opportunities and possibilities was presented instead. Once more, I must say... no regrets, as i found myself an opportunity to own & become somewhat successful in a sign business, remarry, buy a home, and build a new network of friends and family. I have an awesome relationship with my kids, my siblings, and my mom (and dad until 2001) and being thousands of miles apart never interfered with the core of those relationships, but it certainly presented me with new experiences and opportunities that have undoubtedly shaped my life.

Last thoughts... if you and your wife wouldn't consider this an unacceptable option, do you think a solo trip to put in the first 3 months at this new job, before the total commitment of moving the family is required? I don't know if there is a home to sell, and 2 existing jobs to quit, but it could be a more cautious scenario to see how the new job works out for awhile before putting all your eggs in that basket...


ok, another one last point... I don't know your ages, and I know this sounds real obvious... but make sure your wife is 1000% on board, because your current surroundings IS very much a part of the status quo that your current happiness resides in, and you will be disrupting the external aspect of that for sure, so you both need to be more exhilarated about change, then regretful about sacrifices,

Good luck with your decision!

 

[jc1cell]

JC - So what you are saying is that you took a job in Ohio that took you away from your family on the Island. Worked there,Ohio, for a time but then had to move back since?

And I hear what your saying about visiting. It's just such a huge change for us. My family is currently just under an hour away and we see everyone at least once a month for one reason or another. To move that to only once or twice a year is such a leap! It's just soo scary! It would litterally be starting over in a whole nother world. the East Coast is NOT the midwest.

Yes. Although I had already lived in the states, having been born in NY and lived on and off for the first ten years of my life. So I was acclimated to life in the US. I loved Ohio....didn't even mind the cold.

Being away from the fam is not all that difficult. But, the situation is different since my move was in my late teens. Which is when most people want to make that huge move.

Would I do it now. YES....if the right opportunity shows up. I've never been afraid of change or distance. I love my family, but if I can improve my life I will make the move and take my wife with me. The kids are already at the age where they want a change....teens!!!!

jc

 

[Locals Find!]

Take the chance. You only live once. Having moved many times in my life. I never regretted it.

Its hard at first but, the adventure is what makes life worth living. Whether its positive or negative. You always end up with a story to tell when you get old.

 

[WrapperX]

Last thoughts... if you and your wife wouldn't consider this an unacceptable option, do you think a solo trip to put in the first 3 months at this new job, before the total commitment of moving the family is required? I don't know if there is a home to sell, and 2 existing jobs to quit, but it could be a more cautious scenario to see how the new job works out for awhile before putting all your eggs in that basket...


ok, another one last point... I don't know your ages, and I know this sounds real obvious... but make sure your wife is 1000% on board, because your current surroundings IS very much a part of the status quo that your current happiness resides in, and you will be disrupting the external aspect of that for sure, so you both need to be more exhilarated about change, then regretful about sacrifices,

Good luck with your decision!

To your first point - It isn't an UNACCEPTABLE option. It's very appealing. And I think a solo trip - 60-90 days on my own would be necessary just so that my wife could tie up loose ends here -plust that would give me time to really take it all in and find out if this is a place I could live in. They are looking like they will be willing to fly my out to look at the place and my wife will more then likely join me to see if she likes it. We are luck in that we have no house to sell - we live in an apartment with a lease ending in July - but in the time apart she would start looking for work out there meanwhile working her last few months at her current job. And organizing the move out of our current apartment.

Second point - I am 31 and she is 26. We have a 6 year old son who will be in 1st grade come the fall. And disrupting the status quo is usually not a good thing with my wife - she likes routine. Makes her feel safe and comfortable - the move will orobably be hardest on her. But in the end I think she will come around. I think where as I am torn now, if we decide to do this I will adjust more quickly and be more likely to adabt quicker to a new life style. It will stress her out to no end and when shes stressed and uneasy she tends to lash out at anyone around her. Mostly at me - it puts a strain on our relationship but I've learned to deal with it. However when the change has settle she is able to clearly see all that it has to offer but getting to that point is a little difficult at times.

 

[Sticky Signs]

That's quite a problem you've got there. I've moved across the country several times. Both with a partner and without. It sounds like the work situation will be the easiest part to deal with. It's all the other stuff that is difficult - YET FUN & EXCITING. Will you like your new area? What does it have to offer? How long will it take to learn the area? What about the weather? Probably one of the most important questions you have to ask is - Do you want to see your child grow up in that area?
When it comes to friends and family, well, someone already mentioned that some friends will drift away. No big deal, this is how you find out who your real friends are. Family will always be just a phone call away plus nowadays, you've got video chat, facebook, etc.
I've discovered that with every move, you have to set a time limit. You need to be there for at least 1 full year to really get a good feel for things. After that year is up, take a look at how things are going. Are they getting better, worse? Than you can decide if you want to stay another year and reexamine the situation again.
If everything fails, well, you can always move back and hopefully take with you some new knowledge that you might not have gotten otherwise.
Best of luck to you!

 

[tanneji]

I have made that leap twice now. There have been hiccups and hard times but they were few. After both, I have come away better, both financially and emotionally. Get past the tough spots and it can be a real winner.

 

[HulkSmash]

Move to Co

 

[Gino]

Sounds like you have some tough decisions to ponder.

I had the opportunity twice. Almost made the first one, but decided I needed more stability in my still yet.... young life, so I chickened out and stayed here. I was single.

The next time, I was set up with a job in the South Pacific and had someone actually say I could live in their home for whatever it took with no expenses. That one was very hard to turn down, but I again chickened out. I was also single at that time.

Having others to consider would make it much harder in my mind to move. You KNOW what you have here and although you can make just about anything in your life work if you put your mind to it..... you and/or your wife will always play the game... 'What if'

You get there and something goes wrong anytime down the road.... see, we shoulda stayed and blah, blah, blah, blah........... You remain here and things get tough..... see, we shoulda gone and blah, blah, blah, blah...........

You just can't fret over a decision. Make it and stick to it. Don't be wishy-washy and say shoulda, coulda, woulda........... just... WE DID IT OUR WAY



Good luck regardless of which way you choose.

 

[CheapVehicleWrap]

hmm.. tough decision. I've done it several times, but our situations are very different. It's defiantly a good thing to drink about it before making the leap. I'd be doing a heck of a lot of research on the company. If friends and family are that important to you both, it may be wise to stay unless we're talking big bucks.

 

[National Sign Co. - Print]

Come visit first....:Welcome:

That will shed some light on your decision guaranteed.

 

[HulkSmash]

Come visit first....:Welcome:

That will shed some light on your decision guaranteed.

ohhhhhhhhhhh
I SEE what's going on here.

 

[WrapperX]

Gino - totally know exactly what you're saying. The future - one way or another will proably have at least one coversation about - if we had done this or if we had done that this would'nt have happened. Although I'm generally a postitive person who does his best to look at the bright side of life.

Coloradosigns - you offering me a job??

Merritt - You are have a conflict of interest here - I'm not sure if I can take your coments into consideration - lol J/K. But You're right - I think I'll have to come take a look first. That will really be the determining factor.