Want a good suggestion. Take that whole image into photoshop and turn it into greyscale and print it on an 8-1/2" x 11" piece of paper.
Scotch-tape that piece of paper to a wall and walk about 20' to 25' away. Look at it for 3 seconds and then look away. Don't study it... no one else will, so don't be the only one to do so. Could you honestly read anything in that time span ?? If this was a billboard or a large sign, you might have a small chance of someone remembering some of it, but I highly doubt it.
You want BOLD, LOUD, COLORFUL and CRAZY ?? Do it without effects. Effects only are to add dimension and some perspective to elements of a design.... not be the sole common denominator of making something pop.
If you can't draw or doodle, find someone that can get your thoughts down on a piece of paper and go from there. Too many people just think by adding this effect or that color combination without knowing how to do it professionally, they are creating masterpieces. It just don't work thata way. You need someone that understands the color wheel, weight, balance, negative space, font usage, depth perception, elements, foreground & background concepts and most of all good creative skills without being crude.