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Senior Citizen's

Discussion in 'General Chit-Chat' started by skyhigh, Jun 30, 2011.

  1. skyhigh

    skyhigh Major Contributor

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    Some of the perks of reaching the "Senior Citizen" milestone.


    1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
    >
    > 2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
    >
    > 3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
    >
    > 4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
    >
    > 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
    >
    > 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
    >
    > 7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
    >
    > 8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
    >
    > 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
    >
    > 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
    >
    > 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
    >
    > 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
    >
    > 13. You sing along with elevator music.
    >
    > 14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
    >
    > 15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
    >
    > 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
    >
    > 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
    >
    > 18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
    >
    > 19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
    >
    > And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.


     
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  2. WildWestDesigns

    WildWestDesigns Major Contributor

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    Mid TN
    Ain't that the truth.
     
  3. skyhigh

    skyhigh Major Contributor

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    PA
    I'm not quite there yet.....
    I'm still holding out on 3, 6, 9, 11 & 19

    :ROFLMAO:

    Edit....I forgot 6. Thats one of my favorites.
     
  4. GypsyGraphics

    GypsyGraphics Major Contributor

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    Mar 19, 2009
    oh thank gawd!!!! only a few apply.

    #10: don't EVEN get me started
    #13: yes, but i make up my own words
    #1 & #2: hopefully

    appreciate the large print :tongue: (but could live without it)
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2011
  5. skyhigh

    skyhigh Major Contributor

    4,866
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    Jun 16, 2005
    PA
    only a few don't.....LOL
     
  6. Spud Murphy

    Spud Murphy Member

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    Jun 12, 2011
    Remember-fat people are harder to kidnap
     
  7. Si Allen

    Si Allen Very Active Member

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    Jul 17, 2004
    Spud ... ever notice that fat old people have less wrinkles?

    Seems that fat fills up all those wrinkles!


    :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
     
  8. Stealth Ryder

    Stealth Ryder Very Active Member

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    Texas
    That is me in a nutshell.... Thanks for the Humor....
     
  9. TheSnowman

    TheSnowman Major Contributor

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    Aug 28, 2007
    Indiana
    And here I thought this was going to be a rant about how they are always asking for a "senior discount".
     
  10. Si Allen

    Si Allen Very Active Member

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    Jul 17, 2004
    Maxine has figured out a new retirement plan for us!
     

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  11. SignosaurusRex

    SignosaurusRex Major Contributor

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    Mar 7, 2007
    Washington State
    #20. It's automatically assumed by the authorities that the punk you unmercifully beat with your cane, really deserved it.
     
  12. Spud Murphy

    Spud Murphy Member

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    Jun 12, 2011
    I know I'm getting old...the only bone in my body that's not stiff is the one that should be.
     
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