Some of the perks of reaching the "Senior Citizen" milestone. 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. > > 2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. > > 3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere. > > 4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?' > > 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. > > 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. > > 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. > > 8. You can eat supper at 4 PM. > > 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses. > > 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. > > 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. > > 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. > > 13. You sing along with elevator music. > > 14. Your eyes won't get much worse. > > 15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. > > 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. > > 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. > > 18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. > > 19. You can't remember who sent you this list. > > And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.