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It was the night before Christmas and Mary got bucked off the donkey.

Far more likely that static, gamma rays from the moon, or a Gypsy curse is a chunk of crud hanging from some part of the head carriage.

I've been using the same 4x8 cutting mat from, gag, Sign Warehouse for about 20 years now. It's still in great shape and likely to outlive me.

It might look like time-worn hand lettering if it looked like hand lettering, which it does not, and it was originally painted with a whisk broom.

Since vinyl is gas permeable, what difference does it make whether you wait until the next ice age or slap it on immediately after painting?

This is the sort of thing that I avoid by having nothing to do with permits. I make signs, I don't do bureaucracy. If the client needs a permit, he can get one. My lack of interest approaches total.

Yeah, a lot of people injured or dying because of signs.

For bitmaps I always send RGB files. Setting your Rendering Intents for bitmaps to 'Perceptual" and printing RGB bitmaps is about the closest to WYSIWYG that you'll ever achieve. On the other hand, vector components do better as CMYK especially if your Rendering Intents for everything but...

Like the ribbon although the finials at both ends could have been better.

If you're running a sign shop and someone want's a banner, you make them a banner. For a standard price for a banner of those particular specifications. If you have to recreate the client's art work than that's what you do. You don't charge extra for it, you just do it. If your pricing model is...

Do the work, collect the money. I doubt if you're getting paid to enforce some far distant third party's standards, or even to look to see if there are standards.

All of this is evidence of what exactly? Merely because you call something X does not make it X.

Not even close. Not even close.

Your first mistake is thinking that signs are designed. A sign is something you layout given the available space and the message you are supposed to display. No design involved, just a layout exercise. The best you could say is that making a sign is synthesis, still not art. You are given the...

What does it matter? You can't see both sides at once. Even if you could, unless you're punching holes in precise locations on the prints, so what?

A 1 followed by 100 zeros to be exact. A googleplex is a 1 followed by a google of zeros.

If it were me, I'd dye-sub them on aluminum blanks. Fast, cheap, and lasts a long time.

First lesson. Only talentless lackweights 'design' signs. You lay out a sign, you don't design it. Big difference. This harkens from a day not all that long ago when a sign writer [that's the correct term] approached a substrate [no one ever called it that] with a Stabillo or piece of charcoal...

Never having used 'vinyle' I couldn't say. If you mean 'vinyl', everyone has their favorites and most differences are subjective. Ford vs Chevrolet vs Dodge pickups.

That post that you sneer at was probably the best bit of advice you've received. Either get an airbrush and learn how to use it or do as Mssr. Best suggests. Next time make sure you can actually do the job.