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You sir or madam as the case may be don't want advice, you want encouragement in your folly. And no, these are facts, as much as you wish to deny them, they remain facts. Awaiting Yet Another incoherent rambling.

Architect's paperweights which are flat leather bags filled with shot. Better than a third hand for holding stuff down. Handheld infrared thermometer for checking platen temperatures on both heat press and printer. About $9 at most hardware stores. Forstner bits for drilling everything from...

If by 'obnoxious' you mean merely stating facts, then obnoxious it is. It's these facts that you find obnoxious, so don't shoot the messenger. I never said 'incredible skill set', it's not incredible but whatever level it might be, you don't have it. How hard can it be you no doubt think...

Don't flatter yourself. The salient fact here is that you are incapable of running a large format printer and a plotter be they a print/cut machine or two separate devices. These are not desktop printers on steroids, rather they are unlike anything you've ever encountered. Using one is far more...

Cast, calendared, or solid blocks of platinum, all vehicles get our standard 5/50 guarantee. 5 minutes or 50 miles per hour, which ever occurs first. All stationary work gets just the 5.

Looks more like the mindless ah..er...chauvinism demonstrated by fully indoctrinated Adobe true believers.

Tape a 16x24 framing square to the subject square and plumb, and snap a picture straight on minimizing parallax. Import the picture into your software. Draw a rectangle around the framing square. Map the picture into the rectangle via power clip, mask, or whatever your software calls it. Size...

You certainly can print just the second panel but be aware that the two panels, each printed at a different time, may or may not match colorwise. Even a pair of panels printed in tandem may or may not match. It depends on the image and how the printing gods are feeling that day.

Depends. First, when a JPG is saved with or without compression it becomes a new JPG, there are no 'remnants', it is what it is. Unless the compression was somewhat severe you'll never notice the difference unless you're printing a copy of the Mona Lisa and there will be a side by side...

150ppi RGB image assuming it will be printed at 720dpi, at which most civilized people print. This gives you an ~1:4 image to print resolution, the ideal place to be color-wise having a 4x4 dot matrix for each image pixel. RGB because any RIP worth of the name coverts everything to LAB space...

Stop taking this job and yourself so seriously. It's just a sign albeit with too much copy. Just make the damn thing, collect your money, and get on with what passes for your life. It's just a sign. No matter what you do, good, bad, or indifferent, it will have no effect whatsoever on the...

Over except if it's outdoors. Then under or the wind will take it.

Ford vs, Chevrolet vs. Dodge pickup trucks. Corel vs. Adobe vs. whatever. In both cases all of the products are functionally identical. What someone prefers depends far more on personal prejudices than any functional difference. Adobe has a bit of an edge, not functionally, but because they...

It looks like a bunch of disparate parts pasted together. There's no flow and continuity of the copy.

Not too much. The point being that the image is fascinating and you can't quite put your finger on why. Sort of a visual ear worm, perhaps an eye worm? The young liberals in these waters, much like liberals of any age and location, are incapable of actual thought, only mindless reaction.

The face looks like a vague and bizarre combination of Richard Nixon and Bob Hope. But, just like the guy who bit into the moose turd pie remarked, "Pretty damn good though."

Perhaps you meant it as some sort of statement, but it's not half bad. If you flip the head so it's looking at the copy instead of away from it and tweak the type faces a bit...

Go for the one that looks like the Macy's deliverymobile. That way, if the signs don't work out, perhaps you could sell it to them or finagle a subsidy.

I have no doubt that I could do a passable job. And do so while not sounding like 17th century gentry. Nice try but if you have to reach for it, it doesn't work.

Been doing this sort of work since I was ~10 years old. Hand lettering grocery store ads for my family's weekly newspaper, A stint in the USAF, then a bewildering sequence of print shops, hand typesetting, offset camera work, running presses, and signs, always signs. In 1966 I went to work for...