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Critique requested

Discussion in 'Designs & Layouts' started by JTBoh, Feb 19, 2019.

  1. JTBoh

    JTBoh I sell signage and signage accessories.

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    Trying to work around their awkwardly titled neighborhood.
    An "outlook" in Florida is anything over 25 feet above the surrounding terrain. Or at least they think so.

    I saw a letter that looked like a bird, so I made it a bird. Ah, design.

    Specifically, I'd like to keep the "S" in the bird, and everything else is fair play, including BG color. Customer is looking for a S/S (or like) cut letter.

    The parts that I want advice or critique on are the fonts, and the body of the bird.
     

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  2. Gino

    Gino Premium Subscriber

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    The 'u' doesn't look like it's the same as the rest. The swan is floating (no pun) and doesn't seem connected either way. I also think the swan needs a bit of work. Also, the colors are too subtle.

    The idea is good and you have a nice start. Just fix up a few things and I think you're on your way.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. JTBoh

    JTBoh I sell signage and signage accessories.

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    You were right - I had the "u" at 80%.
    Since it stainless, I'm thinking dark blue BG.
    Worked the swan over, tweaked the sizes and layout.
    I think it's there, but curious if anyone else has something to say.
     

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    • Like Like x 1
  4. ColoPrinthead

    ColoPrinthead Swollen Member

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    I would work on the bottom hook of the S if you are keeping the bird, maybe make it a little larger/wider.
     
  5. unclebun

    unclebun Active Member

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    And, per Gino's comment about the swan just floating in midair, some kind of line(s) to represent a water level would also keep the work OUTLOOK from looking like it's not part of the sign.
     
  6. Gino

    Gino Premium Subscriber

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    I also don't like all caps with that font. The swan looks better, but it still needs more flowing feathers along with unc's waterline.
     
  7. jsmoritz2000

    jsmoritz2000 Very Active Member

    I'd use an actual swan silhouette and give everything a little more breathing room around the sign's perimeter as I've illustrated here. I like the use of the Tiffany font, my only gripe is I'm not sold on the k's with that little doohicky extending upward.
     

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    Last edited: Feb 19, 2019
    • Agree Agree x 4
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  8. jsmoritz2000

    jsmoritz2000 Very Active Member

    The all caps lettering would look better if it had a bit more weight added to it, in my opinion.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  9. Billct2

    Billct2 Major Contributor

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    really rough, but I would work on the swan, taller, smoother & fuller. And consider other fonts for the bottom line of text
     

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  10. Texas_Signmaker

    Texas_Signmaker Very Active Signmaker

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    I like your swan better, the other one tools like a serpent. I agree, not to keen on the front, the serifs are too big and the k is weird...
     
  11. I don't like the swan for the S, doesn't make any sense to me




    lake susan.jpg
     
    • Disagree Disagree x 5
  12. Texas_Signmaker

    Texas_Signmaker Very Active Signmaker

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    No no. This doesnt look good.
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Like Like x 3
  13. Use an actual swan silhouette and have the bird floating on a line or reverse panel that separates "Lake Susan" from "OUTLOOK." Choose another font for "OUTLOOK" and fix the "u" in "Susan".
     
  14. Billct2

    Billct2 Major Contributor

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    I like moritz's swan
     
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  15. jsmoritz2000

    jsmoritz2000 Very Active Member

    Thank you, Bill. I just wanted to illustrate that it could be done and it would still read well.
     
  16. JTBoh

    JTBoh I sell signage and signage accessories.

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    Thanks for the input guys.
    Unfortunately, I cant have to big a horizontal - its a curved wall - so waterline is out.
    I tried to keep just the top contour of the swan in play, keeps it looking more like an "S" and less like a duck. The body is too much fill and off center for me.
    I wireframed the S and put a swan's head behind it for the shape of the head, bill, and upper neck.

    This is going to go before a committee anyway - love HOAs - so doing a quick and dirty using the last one I posted with a few tweaks.
    If one of the 12x 68 year old retired people who will be having input on this yell at me about the feathers, I'll fix em lol.
    I chopped the knob on the K's, just call me Lorena.
     
    • Hilarious! Hilarious! x 1
  17. Gino

    Gino Premium Subscriber

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    I used a dumb font at the bottom on purpose, but you get the idea. Instead of a flat kinda sign, if the customer can't afford a relief sign, than make it appear to be a 'poor man's sandblasted' sign with such a nice setting. lake susan.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 9
  18. jman

    jman Member

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    Green and tan style sign you have is what I see alot of around here. The one with the actual swan silhouette is my favorite one.

    I always wondered how sign guys get the inset shape just right on the sign.
     
  19. yor

    yor Member

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    I think this swan design approaching would be a better solution in your case, since the resemblance to an S is more obvious.
    You just have to take inspiration from this image to do something similar.
     

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    • Like Like x 2
  20. SheBeau

    SheBeau Member

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    My two cents.. that the font should flow with the “S” and you need to utilize the upper arch area. Looks too heavy at the bottom.
     

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