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Ever have one of those moments....

Discussion in 'General Chit-Chat' started by Pat Whatley, Nov 3, 2009.

  1. Pat Whatley

    Pat Whatley Major Contributor

    Sep 29, 2003
    Wetumpka, AL
    When you're the only one working at the shop...you're at the counter with a customer and two more politely waiting...and suddenly you get that rumble inside that tells you that if you're not in the bathroom in 30 seconds you're gonna need a new pair of drawers?

    ...and you quickly make a lame excuse about "checking inventory" even though your entire shop consists of one giant room, an office, and a bathroom?

    ...then you run to the bathroom, and loudly take care of the problem knowing full well that the one layer of drywall between you and the customers isn't gonna stop the sound...if anything it seems to amplify it?

    ...and when you come back out five minutes later the three customers are fighting back the laughter to the point where one of them's eyes is watering?

    ...and you get so embarrassed that your hands start shaking and you're almost in tears?


    Wasn't me....I was the customer with the watery eyes. The poor lady working at the upholstery shop who obviously ate the "all you can eat burrito bar" last night looked like she wanted to crawl in a hole and die!

    Yes, it's third grade bathroom humor....and it's still damn funny.
  2. gabagoo

    gabagoo Major Contributor

    Oct 10, 2006
    Vaughan, Ontario
    LMFAO!!!! I indeed can relate as our washroom is similarly placed close to the front reception. I have learnt that you have to time the flush with gastronomic expullsion!!!! It's incredibly embarassing...I hope you shook their hands on the way out!!:U Rock:
  3. DOGraphics

    DOGraphics Very Active Member

    Aug 9, 2007
    Been There. Done That.
  4. speedmedia

    speedmedia Very Active Member

    Aug 8, 2007
    Damn.... I just spit pop all over my monitor, desk and keyboard. :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

    I have had this happen during the middle of a meeting before and I wanted to just run out the door and never come back.

    Always seems to hit at the least reasonable time.

  5. cptcorn

    cptcorn adad

    Jul 16, 2007
    Two Harbors
  6. TheSnowman

    TheSnowman Major Contributor

    Aug 28, 2007
    Never had that one happen yet..but this place is a maze, so I'd be good.

    I did however have a friend that is in investments, and in a 10AM meeting, he sharted and had to "leave the room real quick to check something". He didn't know what else to do, so he took his underwear and threw them in the trash. No one knew anything different, until the next morning when they were in staff meeting, and he informed everyone he worked with that he'd been going "commando" all day, and none of them knew!
  7. Joe Diaz

    Joe Diaz Very Active Member

    :ROFLMAO: That just made my day!:thumb:
  8. Billct2

    Billct2 Major Contributor

    Mar 12, 2005
    New England
    I worked in a shop where the "library" was in the back corner of the fabricating room.
    Every day the boss would walk back from the art room and take care of business.
    After which the back room smelled like we were downwind of a pig farm.
    One day he came out after his visit and every guy in the shop had a respirator on....it was hilarious.
  9. Arlo Kalon 2.0

    Arlo Kalon 2.0 Very Active Member

    Oct 21, 2004
    Reno, TX
    Years ago, when I was in college, I drove a Culligan water softening co. route part time. The day before this particular run, I had a cookout/beer blast where I ate tons of roasted ears of corn, washed down with copious amounts of beer. It hit me in the truck like a ton of bricks. I whipped into a small country store and asked the lady at the counter where the bathroom was. She pointed to a door right behind her. I went in and instantly passed a six foot long diamondback rattle snake that smelled like a three day old dead bear. I breezed on out past her, wafting the aroma in my wake. When I got in the truck, I could actually see her thru the window gagging. I know this is TMI, but I love telling this story!
  10. d fleming

    d fleming Very Active Member

    Nov 28, 2007
    Middleburg, Florida

    Ah ...the old warehouse grunt!
  11. JoshLoring

    JoshLoring Very Active Member

    Hahaha. Omg that is a great story! Excellent detail and ending. 5 stars!
  12. Border

    Border Very Active Member

    Feb 8, 2007
    That's a good one!
    My band was playing at a bar a couple years ago and right in the middle of a song, our lead guiter player ran off stage (actually, it was more a controlled, fast waddle) trying to keep his legs together. Straight into the bathroom he went, which happened to have no door on the toilet stall and the main door was propped open at the time.

    How in the hell do ya gracefully return to stage after that??? I was the one with eyes watering that time!
  13. mark in tx

    mark in tx Very Active Member

    Oct 25, 2005
    Harker Heights, Texas
    I had to get down off a bucket truck and duck behind some bushes once.

    Lost my socks and a t-shirt that day.
  14. GP

    GP Very Active Member

    Dec 12, 2007
    That's awesome.
  15. Pat Whatley

    Pat Whatley Major Contributor

    Sep 29, 2003
    Wetumpka, AL
    I know a guy who works for the power company who keeps a roll of toilet paper, a bucket and some garbage bags in the bucket truck for emergencies. Apparently you can raise the bucket up all the way, do your business, and nobody can tell what you're doing.
  16. Kottwitz-Graphics

    Kottwitz-Graphics Very Active Member

    Sep 25, 2006
    Ridgely, MD
    Except the crop duster...

    I once worked at a shop that didn't have a bathroom & it hit me after a long flight after a vacation... I hit the woods out back with a roll of paper towels & a shovel.

    Anyone ever seen the ”bumper dumper”? A toilet seat on a 2" hitch receiver...
  17. speedmedia

    speedmedia Very Active Member

    Aug 8, 2007


    Attached Files:

  18. J Hill Designs

    J Hill Designs Major Contributor

    Sep 24, 2004
    holy crap that thing is awesome!
  19. Kottwitz-Graphics

    Kottwitz-Graphics Very Active Member

    Sep 25, 2006
    Ridgely, MD
    I once thought it would be funny as all get out to get a picture of someone on one on a busy highway with a newspaper covering the parts we don't wanna see.
  20. Bradster941

    Bradster941 Very Active Member

    Sep 5, 2005
    Maybe this email I recieved today is appropiate to Wipe Up This Thread.

    Maryanne a manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a
    job opening.. After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four
    people who were equally qualified. Maryanne decided to call the four in
    and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of
    them would get the job.

    The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table,
    Maryanne asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'

    The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT..' It just pops into your head.
    There's no warning.

    'That's very good!' replied Maryanne.

    'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man.

    'Hmmm....let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that
    it ever happened.. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'

    'Excellent!' said Maryanne. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular
    cliche for speed.' She then turned to the third man, who was
    contemplating his reply..

    'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall
    there's a light switch.. When you flip that switch, way out across the
    pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yip,
    TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.

    Maryanne was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had
    found her man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said. Turning
    to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, Maryanne posed the same question.

    Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's
    obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'

    'WHAT!?' said Maryanne, stunned by the response...

    'Oh sure', said BUBBA. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good,
    and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON
    THE LIGHT, I had already **** my pants.'

    BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!

    You probably will think of this every time you enter a Wal-Mart from now

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