Favorite Quote from a Customer Today

[cptcorn]

Three weeks and five revisions later (upon approval)
"Can I have that (post and panel) installed tomorrow"?

Had something similar to this happen... Can you see if you can get me a discount on 16 4x8 DiBond panels... I said sure at that quantity we can get some sort of discount... Call him up the next day with the prices... GREAT! I'll let you know what we need on them... I leave many messages with him, no answer, no call backs... a month passes.... Hey I got your message! Order that up I need it by Friday. Ok well there's going to be a rush charge for this, yeah I'll pay what ever to get it done by Friday...

He ended up spending 10x more than what he was saving by "ordering in bulk"

 

[hydo1]

I had a customer call and ask me to donate a banner.......I asked what for......She said they had a budget for banners but they spent it all with my competition and they needed a extra banner and they wouldn't do it for free.......

I said what makes you think I will work for free......? I don't know.......was the answer......

I said sorry .....you should have call me about the order to star with........Its not my problem now........

Crazy people in the world.........

Stupidity like this baffles me. How do these people like this get as far as they do in life?

 

[oldgoatroper]

Great stories. I've got my share of them as well but that will have to be later.

For now, you guys should go on a (virtual) road trip to here: Clientcopia

Click on "Random" -- or add your own -- and don't spend too much time there...

 

[Kentucky Wraps]

*You just type that into the computer...right?
*Are these stickers re-useable?
*Do you have that chrome diamond plate vinyl?
*We need a 15"x10' banner for tomorrow. What? You don't have it in stock?
*I have a plotter and can send you the CAD file. Can you work from that?
*Can you come and look at my window? It needs lettered. It's just a regular-sized window.

Those were some actual examples of the last 3 days' calls.
Love....Jill

1. Yeah, I can print what I type into the computer if that's all you want.
2. I have some reusable sticker material if you want.
3. I have about 6 yards left of that chrome diamond plate vinyl, costs me 20 bucks a yard and it's ONLY 24" wide.
4. I stock 150 feet rolls of vinyl that can print overnight while I sleep.
5. CAD file? If they can just work from a Corel or an AI file HAH.
6. I'll come take a look and measure your window and charge you for it, or you can take a picture and email it to me along with the height and width for FREE.

Here's one, the actual description for a Partial wrap on a van by a Blinds Company that HAS NO LOGO!

"Lets not put any pictures. I would like a simple eye catching easy to read. colors green and brown and white
be creative not busy clean crisp classy attractive and simple."

notice "simple" is at the beginning and end, with all that other junk between. Kinda defeats the purpose of writing simple.

 

[Allied Digital]

Here is one of my emails today

. . . . . . . . At any rate, I need another Plant Safety Chart. We had a few bubbles and wrinkles
when we installed it and have also decided that we want to modify the chart
slightly anyway.

I am including a new eps file of the revised Plant Safety Chart. It should
measure 42" x 70". I need to have this printed on vinyl with the clear
overlay coating applied. Would you be willing to reduce our pricing on the
cost for this reprint? Thanks again for all your help!

yes. I actually showed the guy how to apply it - I'm so mean. I knew he would be back:scream:

 

[Temujin]

I had to bump this one with the old:

"My wife is an artist, she can help design the sign."

Glad to have the help!

 

[Pat Whatley]

I had a customer call and ask me to donate a banner.......I asked what for......She said they had a budget for banners but they spent it all with my competition and they needed a extra banner and they wouldn't do it for free.......

I think my professional phone answer to her would have been to very slowly say "Are you fucking kidding?" It wouldn't have been conscious thought, the words would just come out.

 

[SoCalN8V]

I had to bump this one with the old:

"My wife is an artist, she can help design the sign."

Glad to have the help!

Had a similar one a couple of weeks ago. The customer said that he was an artist and would like to sit behind me and help me.

I told him that I appreciated the offer but that I can't work that way.

He ended up really loving what I created for him.

 

[Pro Image]

I think my professional phone answer to her would have been to very slowly say "Are you fucking kidding?" It wouldn't have been conscious thought, the words would just come out.

I would have LOVED to tell her to F off, but being in a small town......You just have to bite the ol tongue sometimes......Oh well the event they put on didn't go as well as they expected.......They only had about 100 people show up when they expected over 1500......Can you say no money now.........:ROFLMAO:

 

[EternalAudio]

I for some reason get "Oh look.. a tattoo shop! Ohh.. they do piercings too!!"

I have signs... everywhere... that say SIGN SHOP. BANNERS. DECALS. MAGNETS!

Also in giant lettering.. PRICING with prices lested below it... PRICING... not PIERCING...

 

[Buddy]

My favorite saying is by John Wayne. "All hat and no cattle" which I apply to customers that want a quote for 600 signs and then want you to keep your price quoted when they order 50.

"All hat and no cattle"

That's a good one.

 

[round man]

A few years back I started getting phone calls asking for appointments for hair cuts and perms,....seems a local Hair salon had 4000 cards printed and they had my phone number on them,.,,,I called the salon and told the owner about the problem and she said they already had the cards printed and we aren't going to pay to have them reprinted as her receptionist had made an "honest" mistake and they couldn't spend the extra money to have all the cards reprinted,...she then went on to suggest that I simply take the time to inform all her clients when they called of the misprint and give them the proper number and that would quickly solve the problem,....the next two fridays there must have been at least twenty women who showed up for a one pm. appointment,.....hehehehehehe,....... the calls stopped within the week,.....

 

[heyskull]

Today a local Clothes Shop wanted some new internal signs

Customer:- Can you make me some signs with various wording with this letter style?

Hands me a flyer...

Me:- No problem. What is the letterstyle called?

Customer:- Oh it's not a letterstyle my friend created it for us.

Me:- !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me:- How can I match a letterstyle that is a one of logo typestyle?

Customer:- Oh you must have it or something similair to match!!!!!!!

Obviously he has plenty money to pay for my time looking for hours through thousands of typestyle!!!!!!
The flyer he gave me looks like it is all blurred and cut up!!!
There is no way I could even come close to something like this.

On days like these I just wanna quit......

SC

 

[SoCalN8V]

Customer: I want boat graphics and the name of the boat is "RELISH". It should look like how it sounds as it slides out of your mouth.

Me: (Huh?) Have you seen something that looks like you're describing?

Customer: Yes, I want it to look like the BOSE AUDIO logo.

Me: Okay, no problem.

I design 3 different lettering options for "RELISH" and one looks just like the Bose Audio logo. I send the designs to the customer for review.

Customer: One looks just like the Bose Audio logo. However, all of these are just too non-traditional for us and we're traditional people. We've decided we want TIMES NEW ROMAN instead.

Me:

 

[SoCalN8V]

This phone call took place yesterday:

Customer: I want pricing on a sign.

Me: Okay, what type of sign?

Customer: Oh, I don't know - wood or plastic.

Me: Uh, okay then approximately what size sign do you want?

Customer: I really don't know - but how much would it be?

Me: I can't quote a price until I know the type of material and the size.

Customer: You can't just give me a quote?

Me: I'm sorry, but you haven't given me anything to go by. I need to know more about the type of sign you want.

Customer: It will just have my name on it.

Me: Can you come to our shop and I can show you some examples of materials and sizes?

Customer: I can't get there before you close. Can someone come out here so we can talk about it?

Me: I'm going to transfer you to XXXX and he'll schedule an appointment with you.

(I hope it doesn't turn out to be a waste of his time.)

 

[StopSignGraphics]

"I didn't know a 4 foot x 8 foot sign would be that big" (rigid sign a customer was expecting it to fit in his Honda Accord)

 

[Arlo Kalon 2.0]

I Love this one as a local hair salon has a number thats (1) digit off mine.



Me: This is (company name ), Brad speaking, how can I help you today?

caller: is Shanda there? I need to make an appointment.

Me: No Mame, this is ( company name ). You must have dialed the wrong number.

caller: Well can I make an appointment for Thursday?

me: (knowing what the gizz is with the non listening, confused old lady )

Yes Mam, would 10o am be suitable for you as we will be serving gourmet coffee and croissants during that time?

caller: 'Oh yes, that will be just fine..!!...


So far I've booked everything from haircuts to perms, manicure's, you name it.


Do I feel bad?

No Way...

If I identify myself from the get go, then repeat myself, and you still have no clue, then go sit in the lobby for Shonda who probably has the day off Dip $hit.

Waist my time and I'll waist more of yours.... :ROFLMAO:


.

At one old shop location I had, my phone number was one digit different from a new Holiday Inn up the road. Every week I fielded calls from people wanting to make a reservation. My standard reply after answering with "Arlo's Signs" and being then asked "is this the Holiday Inn?" was to say "yeah, and we's full up too" then slamming down the phone.

 

[RebeckaR]

The day before yesterday, I had a woman walk in to the shop with a whole folder full of paperwork.
I've done a little bit of work for her before - some weight numbers for her trucks and we had talked a bit about what she needed in order to be legal.

So...
She handed me the folder and asked me what she needed to do to get licensing and permits for the rest of her fleet. She has just bought a trucking business and since I sounded knowledgeable when she was in before, figured I would be able to handle all the paperwork for her.
Ummm... when she was in before and only ordered weight numbers I had asked her if she needed the other numbers that the state requires as well. This does not mean that I PROVIDE them or that I know the procedure for attaining them.

I looked up a couple of phone numbers for her and sent her on her way... I guess that worked cuz she came back to order the numbers.

Evidently the trucking business is like the sign business. You jump in and figure it out as you go. oy!

 

[Sticky Signs]

i get at least one call every day that goes like this:

me: CL Graphics
caller: Is this comcast
me: No this is CL Graphics. You must have dialed the wrong number.
caller: are you sure, the cable company told me to call this number.
me:Yeah I'm pretty sure.
caller:OK

2 minutes Later

me: CL Graphics
caller: Is this comcast
me: No this is CL Graphics. You must have dialed the wrong number again.
caller: OK

apparently the cable company number is one number off mine. What I dont get is how these people constantly dial it wrong twice in a row.

HAHA, used to have the same problem except it was an escort service that had a similar number to my home number. My girlfriend finally got sick of it after many months of men calling every day asking for girls with striper names like "Candy" and "Lola". It kinda went like this -

GF - Hello
Jon - Hi, is Roxy in today?
GF - Oh sorry Roxy is not in today.
Jon - When will she be back?
GF - She won't be in for at least a week. She's got a real bad herpes out break.
Jon - Uhhh, Oh my god! Click.


We had similar conversations with Jon's for the next couple weeks and suddenly, the calls stopped. Do you think telling all the customers that the girls had herpes and Syphilis and what not had anything to do with it?

Yeah I know, has nothing to do with signs but I thought it was worth sharing.

 

[Sticky Signs]

Oh my GOD!!!!
This is too much. As I'm reading this post (and laughing my ars off) I actually get an email from a client complaining that the window graphics I recently did loose their brightness at night and are hard to see.
I think the "head light fluid" in his car needs to be topped up.