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I just had to share this sign...

Discussion in 'General Chit-Chat' started by ToddM., Jun 30, 2010.

  1. ToddM.

    ToddM. Member

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    I recently made this for a lady to hang on her kitchen wall...I think she may have been just a little fed with her kids and grandkids. :frustrated:
     

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  2. schramm

    schramm Member

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    Ya think????
     
  3. J Hill Designs

    J Hill Designs Major Contributor

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    heh
     
  4. Marlene

    Marlene Major Contributor

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    what a bi*%ch!!!!
     
  5. SignManiac

    SignManiac Major Contributor

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    Mars Florida
    I have to agree with grandma!


    Here is the sign I have posted in my shop for our company policy.


    EFFECTIVE: October 18, 2007

    Dress Code:
    You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
    (1) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag , we
    will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a
    raise.
    (2) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money
    better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a
    raise.
    (3) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and
    therefore you do not need a raise.

    Sick Days:
    We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
    If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

    Personal Days:
    Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year; they are called
    Saturdays and Sundays.

    Bereavement Leave:
    This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for
    dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have
    non-employees attend to the funeral arrangements. In rare cases where
    employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in
    the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your
    lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

    Bathroom Breaks:
    Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
    strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three
    minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the
    stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second
    offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board
    under the "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the
    picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

    Lunch Break:
    Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so
    they can look healthy.
    Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
    maintain their average figure.
    Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
    needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

    Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
    positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,
    concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
    insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
    and input should be directed elsewhere.
    Management
     
  6. GypsyGraphics

    GypsyGraphics Major Contributor

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    Mar 19, 2009
    Sounds like grandma could use a few lessons herself, in graciousness and grammar.

    With her sunny disposition, she must have guests just flocking to her home.
     
  7. Marlene

    Marlene Major Contributor

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    SignManiac
    is this a joke sign?
     
  8. Marie

    Marie Member

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    Jan 31, 2005
    Hattiesburg, MS
    A guy came in who owns a barber shop. He wanted a bathroom sign that said: Number 1 only. No Number 2.

    How he enforces that rule . . . well, I didn't ask!
     
  9. Dzrt1st

    Dzrt1st Member

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    Jan 22, 2008

    Probably got tired of cleaning out the urinal.
     
  10. weaselboogie

    weaselboogie Very Active Member

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    Us
    :Big Laugh:Big Laugh:Big Laugh

    Good one.
     
  11. Sign_Boy

    Sign_Boy Major Contributor

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    Grandma sounds like she'd be fun to hang out with...

    SignManiac - That's great
     
  12. Craig Sjoquist

    Craig Sjoquist Major Contributor

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    sounds right to me, be a kid have fun but don't bother anyone.
     
  13. Jillbeans

    Jillbeans Major Contributor

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    That lady sounds like my kinda people!
    When I was raised it was "children should be seen and not heard".
    Now parents sue when Little Johnny doesn't make the team.
    I abhor those "good jaab!" type parents who never watch their kids when they visit me, or don't teach them basic please and thank you manners.
    Love....Jill
     
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