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I just had to share this sign...
- Thread starter ToddM.
- Start date
schramm
New Member
I recently made this for a lady to hang on her kitchen wall...I think she may have been just a little fed with her kids and grandkids.
Ya think????
J Hill Designs
New Member
heh
SignManiac
New Member
I have to agree with grandma!
Here is the sign I have posted in my shop for our company policy.
EFFECTIVE: October 18, 2007
Dress Code:
You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
(1) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag , we
will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a
raise.
(2) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money
better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a
raise.
(3) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and
therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year; they are called
Saturdays and Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for
dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have
non-employees attend to the funeral arrangements. In rare cases where
employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in
the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your
lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three
minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the
stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second
offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board
under the "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the
picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so
they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
maintain their average figure.
Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,
concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.
Management
Here is the sign I have posted in my shop for our company policy.
EFFECTIVE: October 18, 2007
Dress Code:
You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
(1) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag , we
will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a
raise.
(2) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money
better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a
raise.
(3) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and
therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year; they are called
Saturdays and Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for
dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have
non-employees attend to the funeral arrangements. In rare cases where
employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in
the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your
lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three
minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the
stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second
offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board
under the "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the
picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so
they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
maintain their average figure.
Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,
concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.
Management
GypsyGraphics
New Member
Sounds like grandma could use a few lessons herself, in graciousness and grammar.
With her sunny disposition, she must have guests just flocking to her home.
With her sunny disposition, she must have guests just flocking to her home.
weaselboogie
New Member
:Big Laugh:Big Laugh:Big Laugh
Good one.
Good one.
Craig Sjoquist
New Member
sounds right to me, be a kid have fun but don't bother anyone.
Jillbeans
New Member
That lady sounds like my kinda people!
When I was raised it was "children should be seen and not heard".
Now parents sue when Little Johnny doesn't make the team.
I abhor those "good jaab!" type parents who never watch their kids when they visit me, or don't teach them basic please and thank you manners.
Love....Jill
When I was raised it was "children should be seen and not heard".
Now parents sue when Little Johnny doesn't make the team.
I abhor those "good jaab!" type parents who never watch their kids when they visit me, or don't teach them basic please and thank you manners.
Love....Jill