What the hell, here is my advice.
HOG sounds a lot like me when I was gearing up to start doing wraps. Sounds like he's got big ideas and his heart is in the right place, but the first 10 or so designs are the hardest. This does not look far off from what my first wrap design may have looked like and I've come a long, long way since then.
So getting to that advice. I want to start by saying that at one point in time, i was doing lots of cut vinyl graphics and had a printer, but did not "want" to do wraps yet. So I did not wrap my car, but I incorporated printed graphic elements into a cut vinyl design. It looked cool and got me going with the digital side, and showed my target audience what I was capable of doing. This was on my delsol, and it got big attention with that scheme.
Maybe you should start there to be safe, get some graphics on it and incorporate printed vinyl.
If you are dead set on doing a wrap on it, be ready to do them for other people or it will hurt your business in the long run, as stated above.
Design ideas... utilize fills that are available to get yourself started. Sometimes I start with a premade fill that I like, and I start my work on top of it. Then, as it gets further along, I'll change the layer styles and hide my stating piece deep in the background. Which brings me to another point, in your design, you should be menatlly thinking about background and foreground. These need to be seperate, keep the background in the background. This will help your text POP, unlike what it is doing now, blending in.
And the grunge... I know that grunge is cool, but in moderation. A grunge background with grunge text and more spatter and scrapes may be contributing to what is making this so hard to read.
Since this is one of your first full wrap designs, I would suggest writing down your ideas and colors before starting, maybe even using an existing wrap as a reference or 2. Pick a theme before you start and stick with it. That's my biggest hurdle, I start a design and ADD kicks in and I change the theme and direction 10 times.
Good Luck
jay*doc