Questions I'm tired of hearing

[Pat Whatley]

Can you just invoice us for that?

Is that price the best you can do?

Do you offer discounts for churches/military/policemen/etc.?

Do you want to donate signs to (insert every "charity" ever thought of here)?

Can I speak to the person who handles your credit card processing?

Why is installation extra? Well I don't want to pay it, can I borrow your laddrs and tools so we can do it ourselves?

Can I just wait for it?

 

[Jillbeans]

Can you just draw me up a few ideas and if I like them I'll buy the sign from you?

 

[HulkSmash]

Can I speak to the person who handles your credit card processing?

We tell them our monkey does it, but he doesn't speak English. They hang up.

 

[TheSnowman]

All you do is punch it in and it spits a sign out right?

 

[Pat Whatley]

Can you just draw me up a few ideas and if I like them I'll buy the sign from you?

...and if you do cave in and do them a kick ass layout they'll want to know why you can't do it for the same price as the guy up the road who only uses black helvetica.

 

[HulkSmash]

"Can you drive 20 miles out here to measure our 30 inch window and suggest what size graphic we should put on it?"

 

[Custom_Grafx]

1) Can't you just copy/paste it?

2) Doesn't the machine just generate a cut line by itself? What do you mean setup?

3) How busy are you at the moment? Can you do anything within the next hour or two?

4) May I speak to the owner of the business? <insert phone company sales pitch>

I could come up with many more I'm sure.

 

[Joe Diaz]

When working on murals:

You know you spelled that wrong?

Can you paint my house after you are done doing that?

Will that come off in the rain?

Do you have permission to do that?

When doing design work.

Can you make that "pop" more?

Can you move that down just a little? (while they touch my monitor with their finger)

Do you mind if I take this home and show my wife, husband, daughter, nephew, etc... ? they are designers too.

Can you try using _____ here (Comic Sans, Curlz MT, Papyrus, Vivaldi, Jokerman etc...)?

Can you do something exactly like this, but different?

Will it be ready by the end of the day?

Man I could go on forever with these.

 

[Joe Diaz]

Can you just draw me up a few ideas and if I like them I'll buy the sign from you?

I love that one.

 

[Jillbeans]

Do you have any scraps of that plastic stuff I think it's called corplast I need it to make signs for my farm market?

Will you letter my race car for free if I let you put your name on it?

Can you come down to the fire station and match the lettering on our trucks (Hellvetica) one of our guys is a graphic designer but he can't do it right now?

You have a really steady hand did you go to school for that?

 

[TheSnowman]

Where do you get your supplies from?

How much did that equipment cost you?

We bought our own printer to do our stuff now, but I'm having trouble, can you do some test prints for me so we can see what's wrong with ours?

 

[Deaton Design]

Is that Red Red?
Can you match the wallpaper in my office?
Boy, making signs is easy nowadays, aint it?
Ive got a price of 150.00 for a 4x8, can you beat that?
Can we come by and watch you design it?
We would like to see all your lettering styles, so we can pick one.
Is this your only job?
Do you make banners?
How much is a sign?
Do you have blue signs?
I could go on and on also...

 

[SignManiac]

I always get asked why I'm so much more expensive than everyone else?
Okay great, can I pick it up later today?

 

[Gino]

• If you give me a good price, I'll bring my other truck to you.
• If you give me a good price, I'll bring my other truck to you.
  [*]Oh you know... like everything else..... yesterday......weak hahaha...........
  [*]WHAT ??
  [*]I only need one.
  [*]You know what I mean ??
  [*]How many can I get for $15.00 ??
  [*]Ya know, I can go to any shop I please, so sharpen your pencil.
  [*]I thought you meant periwinkle blue when you showed me that color swatch.... because that's what I asked for.............
  [*]I have a niece that's good at drawing, I'm gonna send her down.
  [*]WOW, that looks easy. Are you hiring ??
  

 

[Jane Diaz]

When they come to pick up their work..."Can you just send me the bill?"
You're here now, why don't you just PAY it!!
My FAVORITE is "I left my checkbook at home. Can I send you a check?"
It didn't occur to you when you decided to come here and pick up your 4X8' sign, to bring that with you?!?!

 

[Jillbeans]

What do you mean, you won't paint on my OSB sheet?

I just got it at Home Depot and painted it with latex house paint. Is flat OK?

Can you stick stickers on it?

Is it cheaper if I stick the stickers myself?

If I mess up the stickers will you give me new ones?

Can you re-use these stickers I peeled off my window?

 

[Marlene]

why don't you play around with a bunch of designs and I will pick the one I like the best

why is your sign more than XXXXX Signs?

why do I need a permit?

do you warrenty that coroplast sign?

I bought these magnetics 15 years ago and they fell off the truck last week, are they under warrenty?

 

[megacab]

HOW MUCH for that wrap? why so much? it's only vinyl. don't you just lay it on there and squeegee it down real quick. it can't be that difficult. where do you get it from so i can try doing it myself first?
if you make me these 2 shirts for $10 each, all my family will see them and i will bring you a ton of business.
those are on ebay for $1 each, can you beat that?
if you wrap my whole car for free i'll let you put your company decal on the 1/4 window for some free advertising at the car shows.

 

[jrsc]

I have a solution for the credit card processing calls.

We have created a fake employee to handle the calls trying to sell credit card processing. Its an extension number that just puts the caller on hold for 15 minutes and if they manage to wait that long without hanging up they get a message saying we are busy please try back later. As a bonus the hold music is interrupted every 15 seconds with a message that says "your call is important to us, please stay on the line."

Another option for when they call and say they would like to save you money on credit card processing is this response: "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." Their response is usually a few seconds of speechlessness followed by "thank you, we will remove you from our list."

 

[David Wright]

Can we see a copy of your phone bill. Yes, they walk in and almost demand to see it so they can show me how they will save me money.

Usually show up in twos for moral support or intimidation.