In the original, the words seem uncomfortably crowded. More margin would help them, as has been mentioned. Stacking could help as well.
Honestly, though, if the original design was done by a plastic surgeon, he or she didn't do too bad.
Light-face letters seem to be popular among many people these days. Light-face strokes on sign work, however, can be weak.
Bobby mentioned "overglow." This is also called "halation." Light tends to spill beyond the edges of letters on a lighted face, encroaching on the inter-letter spacing. This often calls for wider letter spacing to preserve legibility.
Also, a light colored letter looks thicker on a dark background anyway, so wider spacing can be beneficial for this reason, too.
This optical illusion, that a light letter appears bigger, is also why the dark background has an advantage over the light background on this sign—it helps the skinny letters a little.
In my examples below, all the lettering is beefed up. And I've added more margin.
Having spent years back-spraying lighted signs like this, the third one would easily require twice the hours in the spray booth due to the need for multiple masking. Of course, a digital print eliminates that problem. It just doesn't last as long as paint.
Also, when I draw renderings like this, I usually show the retainer on the drawing, though I didn't in my sketches here. I am assuming the original design above is depicting the "visual opening" only. A typical retainer will cover an inch and a half of the face's edge and, of course, must be accounted for in the design.
Brad
My only quibble with your concepts are that in an effort to beef up the weights, the grace and intended modernity of using a lighter, extended version of Helvetica is lost and the layouts seem really dated.
This is a good point. And in keeping with that idea, the probable best solution may be to scrap the round format and replace the sign altogether with a new one in a shape that fits the composition better—a rectangle.
This is an example of the proverbial square peg/round hole conflict. It is what, as I recall, Mike Stevens referred to as conflicting rhythm.
Of course, replacing a "perfectly good" sign cabinet with a new one is not the cheapest option. So this may be more of a sales challenge rather than a design challenge?
But remember that plastic surgery is not cheap, either. Surely a simple facelift could easily pay for a new sign.
I would expect a surgeon to not be a cheapskate, trying to cut corners (I know that sounds like a bad pun). And the clientele that plastic surgeons attract are people that enjoy, I'm guessing, higher incomes as well. So the money is probably available. The trick would be getting them to turn loose of it.
Thank you all for your inputs.
Client doesn't want us messing with there logo "too much". I do like the idea of extending the white block out though.
We'll be doing a "double strike" on clear vinyl with lamination. May or may not cut out the white areas. It would reduce the risk of bubbles showing thru.
The location of a sign in those circles is just plain stupid. Why not allocate space for channel letters in a sign band above the windows (which is probably the original intent of the architect). Then you could layout the business name in a readable size. You could add the "B" if you wanted to.