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A mother and her very young son were flying Westjet Airlines from Ottawa to Edmonton. The boy, who had been quietly looking out the window, turned to his mother and said, 'If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?' The mother, who...

It's an old joke I know but, have you ever heard Paul McCartney tell it?

A guy sitting at an airport bar in Atlanta noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?" Hoping to gain her attention, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta Slogan, "Love...

oops, wrong thread...

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, 'Daddy, look at this', and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said...

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter. After a while, he finds himself in a very nice...

In Plymouth there was a large aquarium, it was the pride of the town and had a worldwide reputation. Despite the decline in the fishing industry the tourism from the aquarium had bolstered the economy and prevented the town from slipping into the local recession that had struck many places along...

Mr. Jacobs, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, said during class, "Miss Arnold, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions." Miss Arnold gasped, then...

1. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole. 2. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 4. Bozone(n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops...

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen...

heh, heh.. I would have played stupid... "I'm sorry, what is this a picture of.... ?"

from the uneven roundings and the inconsistent "O"s, I would say this is custom built.

An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall and asked, "Excuse me; I cant seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, "Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?" "I...

Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" Maria: "Well Señora, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you." Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria...

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears...

This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but did you know there are more Catholic churches than casinos? Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed. Since they get chips from many...

I musta been so fast I posted twice in an empty thread without realizing it.

Albertus Extra Bold

Language proficiency is part of the international contracting scene. This exchange between an English-speaking traveler and a member of the hotel staff in a Far East hotel was recorded in the Far-East Economic Review. Room Service: Morny. Rune-sore-bees. Hotel Guest: Oh, sorry. I thought I...

We've got a new machine at the gym. I'ts awesome, I nearly threw up after an hour. It's got everything, Snickers, Mars bars, KitKat, M&M...