Cost of Funerals!!!

[Jillbeans]

My $5K policy is through that stupid Globe Life thing. I think it costs about $50 a year.
How many years till I get to $5K?
(I'm bad at math)
When I was married we struggled to pay my hub's life insurance.
After his suicide I was sure the $50K policy would be denied but it wasn't.
I used the money to pay for his funeral, which even tho he was cremated and used a rented casket, was about $3K.His parents handled the arrangements.
The rest went into trust funds for my kids. It was done thru my lawyer so I could not nor would not touch the funds.
They both blew theirs immediately upon turning 18.
GG now I want a mini Cosket.
Everyone can pinstripe it and then I can get planted.

 

[WildWestDesigns]

The rest went into trust funds for my kids. It was done thru my lawyer so I could not nor would not touch the funds.
They both blew theirs immediately upon turning 18.

I set one up for my daughter and I have it set up to where she can only get the interest, not the principle. Nice thing about that is no one else can get the principle either, so she'll always have something even if she attaches herself to that goth wannabe for the rest of her life.

 

[phototec]

You can purchase the urn online & save $

My dad passed away about 5 years ago, he was always telling me he didn't want to be worm food, he wanted to be cremated. He passed away in a nursing home where he lived the last year of his life, the director of the nursing home told me I needed to have someone come get him and handed me a phone book, so I called funeral homes in the area. I was in real shock after loosing my day and as mentioned here in other posts, these people are only looking at how much money they can make, after all it's not like you shop with them on a regular basis.

I did however have enough sense to call a few different funeral homes and ask what they charged to come get my dad and take him to their facility, and what costs would be involved for a cremation. Surprising enough, after calling 5 different ones, the prices were from $1,800 to $4,800, every one had different prices. Also, I asked for the itemized price list and noted that you have to place the body in a cardboard box for cremation and the cost of the box was $150 - $250, the box is burned up.

I went with the one of the lower cost arrangements which didn't include a service at the funeral home, we had the service at our church, which only required a donation of my choosing.

During the meeting with the funeral director, they put a lot of pressure on me to pick out an urn to place the ashes in, and they showed me different models, again the prices where very expensive. I don't know how or why, but something in the back of my head told me to WAIT, I told them it was to much pressure and I wanted to think on it over night.

That night I searched Google and found lots of information, I didn't know you could purchase your own casket and provide it to the funeral home, this alone could save thousands. Anyway, I found a website that sold urns for a discount, the price was 1/2 of what my funeral home wanted for the exact same model. I called the 800 # and spoke with the gal at the discount website, she was great and told me she and her husband have a funeral home, however they don't like how the industry operates and how they take advantage of people when they are grieving. She told me she would sell me the exact model earn for 50% less than my funeral home, and she would still make money.

She also told me, she sells the cremation cardboard box for $25 which I paid $150 for, even with shipping she could have saved me lots of money. She said I have every right to purchase anything needed for the funeral and provide it to the funeral home to save money, even a casket. I didn't know any of this, but now I do.

RIP Daddy-O!

 

[ChicagoGraphics]

As morrbid as it might sound, I wanna be stuffed and put in a rocking chair somewhere in the corner.....

 

[Pat Whatley]

How much is cremation and a scatter on the ocean? That's what I'd like.

Why bother with the cremation? A couple of cinder blocks tied to your ankles will get you to the bottom and get you into the food chain. Kind of a posthumous way to say "Eat me." to the world.

 

[phototec]

As morrbid as it might sound, I wanna be stuffed and put in a rocking chair somewhere in the corner.....

Hey, you could have a motor hooked up to it so the chair rocks back and forth?

 

[Rick]

I'm thinking it's like a sign, some people plan it out months ahead, do their shopping, get multiple quotes, and then choose a shop... some clients wait till the last minute, why is that the sign shops fault? It's hard to make good decisions in that position and funerals are a business.

My father in law died and he assumed it was all taken care by his Veterans benefits... he was not correct. I had time to get some info, (I did some work for someone in the business) then decided to go with the guy after some back and forth haggling. I don't think they take advantage, he has plenty of clients that plan years in advance and are already paid for. And it was still painful after putting family up in hotels and plane tickets for something they also knew was going to happen. He wondered why people wait till the last minute and then expect a funeral home business to comply when they know it's gonna happen one day. My brother in law recently died, his cremation was affordable, his services were not and my sister had to ask for help. My wife's arrangements are already taken care of so I don't have to be put in a position to make money mistakes and I have insurance for me. I don't want my kids to be stuck with the cost of burning me, stuffing me in a can or box and dumping me somewhere.

 

[copythat]

Lm( y )o

Hey, you could have a motor hooked up to it so the chair rocks back and forth?

Way too funnie!!!

 

[ddarlak]

i've told my wife that i want to be straped to a few pallets and doused with kerosene and set a float in our pond and have one of my sons shoot a flaming arrow at me....

she said no, but i also told my son....

i'll never know....

 

[SignosaurusRex]

As cold as it may sound, you have to haggle with the mouth breathing bottom feeders down to the funeral home. Of course they're counting on you being distraught and assuming that everyone else around you shares your distress and that they somehow want to do right by you because you can't comprehend taking advantage of someone in your condition.

This is nonsense, these people exist to try to shake every nickel out of your jeans that they can. They care not a pinch of wombat snot for your troubles.

In 1991 I was left with the task of funeral arrangements and paying for the cremation of one of my mentors. His two remaining sisters and myself were all he had for, or considered family and only a couple friends so we skipped the funeral part and had only a small memorial to scatter the ashes in the river. The cremation was a whopping $400.00.
Three months ago I was contacted by a funeral home in a distant county. Seems that a long lost estranged shirt-tail relative had passed away. I was the only one they could locate that was remotely related and they wanted to know what to do with him. It seems he had a friend (probably his only) who wanted the ashes but was just as broke as the deceased had been. The funeral home wanted $800.00 for the cremation and release of the ashes. I informed them that I did not give a crap what was done with or where the remains were left being as how I never liked the guy to begin with. The funeral home suddenly decided that if I would pay $250.00, that would take care of the cremation and release of the ashes to his friend. I suppose his friend found somewhere nice put the ashes.

 

[cajun312]

In Louisiana there is an old law that requires purchase of the casket from the funeral home. The Benedictine monks at St. Joseph Abbey decided to start making and selling pine caskets after hurricane Katrina devastated their forest land. That didn't work out to well, the state can fine a funeral home $2,500 for doing a burial with an "unapproved" casket.

more here
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703846604575448083489852328.html

 

[Tony McD]

We just buried my mom a couple weeks ago.
She already had the plot and headstone in place and paid for next to my dad who died in 67.
We still spent $11,000 for the funeral and casket.
Didn't go cheap, but didn't go top of the line either.

I told my wife to just stick me in the back yard next to the pets.

 

[SignosaurusRex]

I've told my wife to just drop me in an extra deep fence post hole. Don't even waste money on a cremation. If ya can't do that for whatever reason than scatter my ashes in the wind from my favorite scenic viewpoint and pass around a bottle of Black Velvet 8 Yr Reserve with the boys.

 

[Mike Paul]

Anyone else save their large format printer box?
I think of caskets every time I walk by it in the basement...

 

[Firefox]

My father in law died and he assumed it was all taken care by his Veterans benefits... he was not correct.

Veterans benefits yes, All taken care of NO! You do have to fill out a form and send it in and they send out a small check, seems like a few hundred dollars. As far as the plot a veteran can be buried in a national cemetery for free if you can provide the DD Form 214 and a death cert. It also includes a nice white head stone with the service info and the vets name. The Vet's spouse can be buried in the same plot and their info engraved on the back side of the same headstone also for free.

My father passed almost 2 years ago he was cremated as was my mother a few years before. We had 90% of both their ashes spread at sea at the same time, since both were Navy veterans we thought it was fitting. The remaining 10% was placed in the national cemetery in Vacaville, CA and placed side by side.

The crematory is a customer and took care of my father and arranged the at sea services for both, About $1200 all together. Since then the crematory has become even a better customer!

When I go I want to be burnt at the stake and spread like the walls of Shawshank Prison! Or throw me in a hole at the National Cemetery and spare no expense on the ziplock!

I think my $5k life insurance policy should more than cover it... then party!

 

[cdiesel]

Just today on the way home I was behind a pickup truck with a magnet on the tailgate--"Eddie's Caskets". At the moment I thought it kinda peculiar for a casket company to advertise like that. After reading some of the posts above it makes sense now.

I've got a ton of life insurance.. it's cheap. That said, I don't want to be buried. I want to be cremated and my ashes spread at one of my favorite camping spots. If anyone wishes to keep my ashes, that's fine, but I want to require that any ashes left when that person passes be buried with that person. I wouldn't want my ashes left around for generations that never even knew me.

My best friend refuses to get life insurance. He says he wants it to be a sad day when he goes!

 

[JERHEMI]

I'm only going to be 30 years old and I already have my graveyard plot! lol About 10 years ago my father bought 4 plots for the 4 members of my immediate family in a local graveyard where other members of my family are buried. I'll never forget his reasoning for buying them...he said "that is the only land you can own that you don't have to pay taxes on, so why not?" lol

 

[skyhigh]

First off, let me offer my condolences to you and your family Arlo. My heart goes out to you.
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Now some real conversations I've had with my family......

I struggle with the thoughts of what to do with me after I'm gone. The thoughts of dying don't bother me as much as what they do to you in the funeral home...also the thought of laying in one un-comfortable position for eternity, in a stiff collar shirt and tie. uuuuugggghhhhh

I originally directed my wife as to which t-shirt & shorts she should give to the funeral director. By gawd, I'm going to be cumfy. Then I started hearing about the prep work they do to you. Its my understanding that all oriface's are packed with cotton or gauze (so you don't start to expell gas). Then your stomach is sucked out too ........so now I'm going to be hungry for eternity....AND have a giant uncomfortable wad of cotton up my butt.

So then I started investigating the alternatives......how about cremation? Well, I don't like being hot, so that dosen't appeal to me. Besides, what if....I mean, what if your not really dead? OK, so cremation is out. Now I'm back to a casket....and my cumfy shorts. I will insist on NO embalming or the extra things that go along with that procedure....AND, I want my cell phone buried with me. (Dammit woman, make sure the battery is fully charged too).

The only other choice that appeals to me, would be buried at sea. OK which sea? I'm thinking the Bering Sea. Hell, I've always enjoyed watching "The Deadliest Catch", as well as eating those tasty crabs they catch there. Sounds perfect.

So next time your at Red Lobster.....take a close look in the lobster tank. If one of those suckers has a shitty grin on his face, then it would probably be a safe bet that I've met my demise, & my funeral wishes have been carried out.

bon appetit

 

[Firefox]

I'm only going to be 30 years old and I already have my graveyard plot! lol About 10 years ago my father bought 4 plots for the 4 members of my immediate family in a local graveyard where other members of my family are buried. I'll never forget his reasoning for buying them...he said "that is the only land you can own that you don't have to pay taxes on, so why not?" lol

Obama has a plan to tax cemetery property believe it or not! Part of the bill states that if taxes are not paid the govt. will sell the land to pay the tax and then put your ash in jail!

 

[signage]

I struggle with the thoughts of what to do with me after I'm gone. The thoughts of dying don't bother me as much as what they do to you in the funeral home...also the thought of laying in one un-comfortable position for eternity, in a stiff collar shirt and tie. uuuuugggghhhhh

I originally directed my wife as to which t-shirt & shorts she should give to the funeral director. By gawd, I'm going to be cumfy. Then I started hearing about the prep work they do to you. Its my understanding that all oriface's are packed with cotton or gauze (so you don't start to expell gas). Then your stomach is sucked out too ........so now I'm going to be hungry for eternity....AND have a giant uncomfortable wad of cotton up my butt.

So then I started investigating the alternatives......how about cremation? Well, I don't like being hot, so that dosen't appeal to me. Besides, what if....I mean, what if your not really dead? OK, so cremation is out. Now I'm back to a casket....and my cumfy shorts. I will insist on NO embalming or the extra things that go along with that procedure....AND, I want my cell phone buried with me. (Dammit woman, make sure the battery is fully charged too).

The only other choice that appeals to me, would be buried at sea. OK which sea? I'm thinking the Bering Sea. Hell, I've always enjoyed watching "The Deadliest Catch", as well as eating those tasty crabs they catch there. Sounds perfect.

So next time your at Red Lobster.....take a close look in the lobster tank. If one of those suckers has a shitty grin on his face, then it would probably be a safe bet that I've met my demise, & my funeral wishes have been carried out.

bon appetit

Do you mean the one in a t-shirt and shorts smiling at you:Big Laugh

I haerd those crabs go you your private parts first