Female Advice

[Jillbeans]

what you love about someone the most some times is also the same thing that bugs you the most

This is so true.

So she's told you to leave and that she wants a divorce?
And she nags at you a lot?
I think maybe she has taken the role of a mother with you instead of a wife.
She's picking at you with little stuff but I think she really wants to pick about big stuff.
Again, ask her what's bugging her. Something has to be.

 

[WOODBS]

Well, finances have changed alot for one, her dad died a year ago, she's still mourning...ummm
apparently I bug her?
the beach day she got mad cause I brought beers, and said it's a family day and besides you arent supposed to drink on the beach..blah blah. Then after thinking about it apologized and had one with me..

 

[John Butto]

That is it for her complaining, sounds like you are the one who wants out of the relationship and using excuses that it is her. She has probably gotten smarter over the years and you have remained stagnant in your thinking and you are jealous of her superiority. Start reading a good Tolstoy novel and start to comunicate at a different level instead of crying over getting yelled at. And, the clean shaven all over thing made my eyes bleed when I read that.

 

[Locals Find!]

Have her get her Thyroid checked. 8 out of 10 women who have had children will have a thyroid imbalance. It will cause mood swings like your describing. Its easy to solve with a little medication to balance out the levels.

I have first hand experience in this area. Have her get hers checked. If its out of balance she will feel better and in turn you will get treated better.

 

[John Butto]

"Have her get her Thyroid checked. 8 out of 10 women who have had children will have a thyroid imbalance. It will cause mood swings like your describing. Its easy to solve with a little medication to balance out the levels".

That is hormone replacement which will give her great looking skin but the side effects outweigh her health later on.

 

[SignManiac]

You need excitement in your life. Any marriage after many years takes effort to keep things new. Take her skydiving. If her parachute opens then it was meant to be, if it doesn't then problem solved

 

[David Wright]

Some women it's takes a long time before they just get fed up. When they then decide it's done, too late. I have seen it with friends and family.
Probably too young for perimenopause but not impossible. Still, even if she is doesn't mean she doesn't feel that way about you, just not as likely to bury it.

 

[WOODBS]

You need excitement in your life. Any marriage after many years takes effort to keep things new. Take her skydiving. If her parachute opens then it was meant to be, if it doesn't then problem solved [/QUOT

or better mine dont open

 

[WOODBS]

opened new post in premium...

 

[Locals Find!]

"Have her get her Thyroid checked. 8 out of 10 women who have had children will have a thyroid imbalance. It will cause mood swings like your describing. Its easy to solve with a little medication to balance out the levels".

That is hormone replacement which will give her great looking skin but the side effects outweigh her health later on.

Its a bit different than what your thinking John. Having one's thyroid out of balance can cause worse health issues than any side effects of the medication. The most obvious signs are the drastic mood swings, but an out of balance thyroid can also cause heart failure.

 

[WOODBS]

have to check that out

 

[Gino]

I'm no doctor, but I can relay something which happened to me years ago. I found out what it was like to live with someone who had PMS at it's worst.

Thyroid can contribute, but anything in the body that's out of whack will set off the slightest emotional problems and she knows she can't take it out on the kids, but you are her partner and she will lash out at you for no reason and the next minute be fine.

PMS is a strange hormonal trap for men. We know nothing about it and can only learn about it, but don't feel it except when you get slapped from behind. My wife would actually tell me she doesn't have control when the mood strikes.

Again, I'm no doctor, but if you get the 'Baby Factory' yanked out... the playpen will still be open and it will take some time to get some bad habits out of the way, but within a year.... things will be back to normal. My wife still talks about those days like it was someone else. We still joke about it, but there was some nasty chit going on, but I still loved her and knew this wasn't her... anyway, not all the time.

Get some blood tests done and see if this could be a possibility. Hoping things like this will go away is wrong if it's lasted more than a few months. Mourning over a passed parent can cause some of it, finances can do it, but your bringing beer to a family picnic is wrong. Remember, if you want to continue being a slob and use excuses like you forgot to put your shoes away or you take shelter every time she rears up..... stand up and take your medicine. She doesn't need another kid in the family. Be there for her and stop looking at it from your side and try to understand what she might and probably is feeling and going through. Be the man of the house and keep it together. What's your problem that you have to complain about ?? She isn't well, you know it, now do something about it and help her.

 

[BigfishDM]

The world is full of women, get rid of her and go find another. If your unhappy then tell her and figure it out and be a man. If its so bad then its only you to blame for letting it be like that. Either way good luck!

 

[Bigdawg]

I'm no doctor, but I can relay something which happened to me years ago. I found out what it was like to live with someone who had PMS at it's worst.

Thyroid can contribute, but anything in the body that's out of whack will set off the slightest emotional problems and she knows she can't take it out on the kids, but you are her partner and she will lash out at you for no reason and the next minute be fine.

PMS is a strange hormonal trap for men. We know nothing about it and can only learn about it, but don't feel it except when you get slapped from behind. My wife would actually tell me she doesn't have control when the mood strikes.

Again, I'm no doctor, but if you get the 'Baby Factory' yanked out... the playpen will still be open and it will take some time to get some bad habits out of the way, but within a year.... things will be back to normal. My wife still talks about those days like it was someone else. We still joke about it, but there was some nasty chit going on, but I still loved her and knew this wasn't her... anyway, not all the time.

Get some blood tests done and see if this could be a possibility. Hoping things like this will go away is wrong if it's lasted more than a few months. Mourning over a passed parent can cause some of it, finances can do it, but your bringing beer to a family picnic is wrong. Remember, if you want to continue being a slob and use excuses like you forgot to put your shoes away or you take shelter every time she rears up..... stand up and take your medicine. She doesn't need another kid in the family. Be there for her and stop looking at it from your side and try to understand what she might and probably is feeling and going through. Be the man of the house and keep it together. What's your problem that you have to complain about ?? She isn't well, you know it, now do something about it and help her.

Typical response - it must be her period or hormones... can't possibly be anything that woods has done... after all he hasn't changed a bit

 

[WOODBS]

actually have sorry, became more in tune with what I'm here for, what matters most , and stuff like that

 

[Marlene]

No I don't take her for granted, I do compliment probably not as much as I should, but hard to do when I;m getting yelled at for leaving a pair of shoes on the floor or not taking the trash out or forgetting something at the store or dripping toothpaste on my sink or...or..or...

sounds overwhelmed to me. throw in death of dad and that's a good trigger for her to just get fed up. death of a loved one makes you think about your own life and when she did, it might have set her off. sounds like a trip to the doctor would be a good idea to make sure all is OK and maybe a trip to someone she can talk too who can help her threw this wouldn't be a bad idea. she's had it up to her eyeballs and can't deal with it.

 

[WOODBS]

yeah but my suggesting that triggered yet another arguement

 

[mfatty500]

Don't move this post. This funnier than hell to read!

 

[WOODBS]

real funny... laughing my a off

 

[Bigdawg]

I didn't mean to come across as harsh as I did in the Premium section...

Honestly - I think Marlene hit it on the head that she is overwhelmed with life right now. And I will tell you from personal experience that she can't get herself out of it. And you won't be able to do anything right until she does.

Then you'll get upset that you can't do anything and everything you TRY to do is the wrong thing... and it becomes one more thing for her to stress over. A very vicious circle that is hard to overcome.

Hug the porcupine... seriously... when she is at her worst - just grab her and hug her and tell her you love her every bit as much as the day you married her and somehow - someway you will get through all of this together. Then listen. She desperately needs you but she probably doesn't know how to tell you what to do. Part of the problem is usually that we don't know how to put in to words the emotions we are feeling... they are CRAZY - and it isn't always rational to the male species. But it makes perfect sense to us...