For critique

[Pete Moss]

#4
sill not I in love with the font for Holiday Sale as it is just to chunky and is hard to red. if you fee you must use it, try thinning it out a little with an inline then throw out the original and keep that as your copy

I'll try that next, here are some more keeping in mind what's been suggested.

 

[Pete Moss]

Now that I see it here, the middle graphic's top text looks too dark. I'll look at this with a fresh eye in the morning....

 

[Jillbeans]

...it's because of the red.
Of this last bunch, I'd have to go with the one on the right.

 

[HDvinyl]

I've learned not to be afraid of the edges.

 

[Pete Moss]

I've learned not to be afraid of the edges.

Please explain...

 

[Gino]

Please explain...

Oh no, now ya did it. Don't ask questions like that here. He just might explain what goes on in that head of his/hers.

​

 

[HDvinyl]

You don't always have to think inside the box.

"Holiday Sale" is my example.

 

[Jillbeans]

There ya go!

 

[Pete Moss]

Hey! You can read "Holiday Sale" in the preview now. Nice, however the client wants 50% Off to be the focal point. I'll see if I can make a hybrid, without looking like the margins are off. Yes, outside the box, something one of my teachers used to say often. Plus, I like bleeds. The plan is to have this one finalized over the weekend. Thanks again, folks!

 

[Tiki]

Try using all the same typeface and as suggested bring all the
elements in tighter together the Santa can also be made larger

 

[Jillbeans]

That looks so much cleaner to me, Tiki.

 

[Pete Moss]

I do like the continuity the same font provided. In this case I am motivated to sacrifice unity for variation.

When first posting, I set out to lean more about balance of slanted staggered text with staggered horz. text. I ended up getting a great study of contrast, outlines, effects, and bleeds.

Your input is invaluable!

I am presenting two of the four to the client later today.

 

[HDvinyl]

 

[Pete Moss]

Almost forgot to thin out the script. All the text is legible through thumbnail view. Making this one my personal favorite.

 

[Pete Moss]

View attachment 103237

I am yet again confused by what you are expressing here....

 

[HDvinyl]

I did the same thing as before but with "50%".

 

[TimToad]

Almost forgot to thin out the script. All the text is legible through thumbnail view. Making this one my personal favorite.

I've watched this thread from the start and at first couldn't tell the difference between the first 3 you posted. Now, I can't see a significant difference between your "favorite" ready to submit and those first three.

I think everything Tiki and rjpjr submitted as suggestions work really well and its a shame you couldn't accept or embrace any of those suggestions except for a minor tweak here or there.

There is so little prioritization and/or variation of text size, weight and color that your three messages just melt together with Santa's face and beard when I look at them. I get the holiday theme completely without the overpowering and irrelevant "Good Tidings" message.

 

[Pete Moss]

I disagree. From the beginning I believe the design only needed some fairly minor tweaks. I was waiting to see which one everyone else liked before submitting the two to the client. I was personally thinking maybe tres and the last one I posted.

I keep reiterating how much value I put in everyone's expertise.

If you look I made several changes based on suggestions:

The copy with the top layer Santa is what several people including myself liked.
The copy with no top text is because of Marlene's suggestion.
Making holiday sale in white for contrast is because of Jill's. I also added more black for more contrast.
Thinning out the holiday text is due to what Marlene said.
Santa scaled past the text margin was from what HDVinyl said about edges. The bleed on the magic sparkles is because of this too.
There are more but I think you get it.

I did explain why I did not change the text to all one font. It's the same reason anyone uses two fonts in a design.

Yes, if I were to make the font consistent as rjpjr and tiki suggested the design would have more unity. Like I said though, I was willing to sacrifice that for character. I feel as though I had a great deal of help making refinements and feel good about the process, as well as, the result.


I still have some time so I'll proof out some with the same font for unity, it wouldn't hurt anything.

As far as the variation in font weight goes, the script font provides that enough to me.

I also feel as though you frustration is unfounded.

Maybe I'm wrong. It would be interesting to hear what everyone else thinks. Especially rjpjr and tiki.

Now ladies and gentleman my beer is getting warm and this Saturday night is not getting any younger. I hope you all are having an awesome one. I'll check back tomorrow with a headache and scrambled eggs. Please be just a touch gentle to my future self.

 

[Jillbeans]

...for the love of God (or contrast, or non-clashing, or even me) PLEASE lose the red outlines.

 

[Gino]

Gentle ??

Ya ain't gonna get that in this place. Once you hafta ask for it, they'll go even harder yet on you. From the beginning, you had something completely satisfactory. You chose to tweak it further, and for this place that became a challenge. All you've been getting is 'personal preference' opinions. All of the advise you've received works, but it's almost impossible to put it all to good use in one little poster.

Good luck............... ​