Jason, no time to sketch something yet, on top of what i chose to do instead, but here is 10 business card designs. Half of them were charged at least $500 for logo design first, and later the cards were designed for a fee, and printed for a profit.
I scanned them because while they aren't great by S101 standards, they are better then yours (I think) and could be a source of inspiration.
I included a few that have those retro tradesman cartoons Adrian was talking about.
There are also a few that have NO graphic element at all, and there is at least one ("CCF") that has a sort of monogram, which is what I think might work for the FC guy.
I think it's important to ask yourself at the onset: "hmmm... do I have the skilles to attempt to draw a pool ladder, and make it look good on a letter F, in a reasonable time frame, within the clients budget... and if the answer is NO (which it is, bt the way) then FORGET that idea before you waste any time on it...
by the way, WHAT IS THE BUDGET?